2jk.org/Intellect Or Insanity/Jonathan Klinger's Blog: Gan Shula Newsletters Archives

August 13, 2004

Gan Shula Newsletter

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You are receiving this Email since Jonathan J. Klinger had thought that his babbling is of your interest. should you want to stop getting his babble, do mail him at [email protected] and he will stop sending you any future mailings, however, doing so will insult him very much
---Disclaimer---

istl of gredientsin
-------------------
i My So Called Happy Ending
ii Party
iii New Site Coming Soon
iv New Job Coming Soon
v Internet Dating
vi Politics, Sex and Power
vii Seekage

My So Called Happy Ending
-------------------------
Well; one week after the said party, i am happy to declare that
everything went fine, my house is still in a mess, but it was always
like it and will always be, i am still single, but always were and
always will be; and finally, My life is all so different yet all so
similar. I'll explain in the near future.

Party
-----
Well, the party was a success, many people came (10x to: Maya Crabtree, Amir and others), yet it had something missing. lots of good people, alcohol et cetera, but it lacked the general themes of parties in my house, meaning the total atomic war going on during it, people intoxicating themselves beyond recognition and/or cognition, and others. anyways, it was fun, if you left early or if you just didn't come, feel sorry for yourself.

New Site Coming Soon
---------------------
I bought a new domain today, 2jk.org, which is going to be my Blog and HostSpace for the next year or so. You see, starting my Internship next month, i shall have to relieve myself from all so many pleasure given by TDEK, including an Email account, therefore, though [email protected] and many other accounts shall remain active, my new accounts will be either [email protected] or [email protected] which is the shortest email address possible nowadays. the site shall hold the Gan Shula Archives, where you can have a look at my words from the early days of 2001 and it will be my blog, with place for my articles and stuff. if you want an email account activated at 2jk.org let me know. By the way, all the TDEK/Zilzul Accounts which were opened to my friends shall not be closed, so thou shall not worry.

New Job Coming Soon
-------------------
As i said, I'm starting a new job as a civil servant, I'm going to work for minimum wage in the magistrate court of Haifa; a dull 8-2 position in which i shall determine the fates of many loved ones and several other people. if you have any legal problem, i suggest that you address them from now on to my Judge, who shall bring the file to me so i can write my opinion and decide.

Internet Dating
---------------
Nothing special, i just met a girl who approached me on the web and it sucked. nevermind

Politics, Sex and Power
-----------------------
Politics - nothing special, we started the ShadowGovernment campaign, it seems promising and nothing more, it would be nice if you could donate something, have a look at www.shadowgov.org to see what we are doing.
Sex - No sex life whatsoever, please help
Power - ?

Seekage
-------
I was accepted to Tel Aviv University, starting my M.Phil under the
school of "History and Philosophy of Science and Ideas" which is totally cool, so I'm not going to Haifa and not to Edinburgh, help me there if you can, i need scholarship et cetera.

Till then,
---
Jonathan Joseph Klinger
Tel : +972-52-3436436
Fax : +972-3-5405697
iCQ : 28586277
Mail: [email protected]
Mail: [email protected]
Mail: [email protected]

Quiquid latine dictum sit,altum viditur

--
---
Jonathan Joseph Klinger
Tel : +972-52-3436436
Fax : +972-3-5405697
iCQ : 28586277
Mail: [email protected]
Mail: [email protected]
Mail: [email protected]

Quiquid latine dictum sit,altum viditur

Jonathan Joseph Klinger

Posted by jk at 03:05 PM | Comments (0)

July 04, 2004

Gan Shula Newsletter

Table of Contextual Relations:
------------------------------
(1) Foreplay
(2) Interplay
(3) Postplay
(4) Epilogue
(5) Dialogue
(7) Monologue
(8) Epitaph

Foreplay
--------
Well, I know, i've been bad, i haven't written in all so long [i know
you guys are happy about it, but keeping it real]; so it's my final
examination period, and in the meanwhile it seems that i'll be staying in israel for the next few years, bartending and practicing law to earn some extra income. i do need a place for my internship, since being a lazy ass i haven't gotten to it yet. anyways, that's it - got 3 more weeks and then i'm officially a law bachelor, who'd believe that the day will come? In a year or so - "Adv. Jonathan Joseph Klinger, LLB."....

Interplay
---------
So Lior and I Broke up two weeks ago (yeah, i know she's reading these lines as well, so i'll be moderate and tepid). so i'm back in the singles market, and what a market it is - it feels like a meat market when everyone always talks about one thing; the only thing in their minds, and i got it - it's not sex - it's loneliness. everyone are afraid of being alone, not the sex, not the love - it's the feeling that you crawl back in your bed and have no one to think of, that's what they all miss. And what about me, you ponder? I feel better alone, since i know that being lonely is not a bad thing; the problem is that i do miss the love, the sex, everything around it, and i do miss her - but that's between us (LOL)...

Postplay
--------
So i have my big exam on Wednesday, Evidence Law, and it seems like it is going to be a big failure, having played with my new SonyEricsson P900 all weekend long, and studied for my two examinations tomorrow (i do have another one on monday); so i guess that it is au revoir bachelors... anyways, i was in one interview for an internship this week where the Partner asked me - "how come you have 67 in property law" and i answered really nicely with my known answer "I think that this entire private law section is redundant, it's all banks, insurance companies, construction companies and governmental authorities, where are the citizens?" so anyways, i think that i'll need to find a better place.

Epilogue
---------
I'm getting my new toy tomorrow (hopefully) it should replace my Ex;
it's a HP/NC4000 with a 1.6GHz Centrino, 60GB 7200RPM HD, 512DDRam and a 12.1" screen; so it can do most of what she did, just except the part where it can't hold your hand when your lonely. and you know, there should be a day when computers will help you get chicks, just like cars. (most) Girls don't know shit about cars, and still, they are attracted automatically to guys in fast cars, or something like that. well, i'm waiting for the day when a girl comes and asks "Is that a wireless/g adapter you're holding?" and then i can take her for a drink...

Dialogue
---------
I think that the things in my life are getting smaller - at least in the last 3-4 years. at first, my Hyundai Atos was a small car, and now - i got the even smaller Smart, then my CellPhone which is in a constant decrease of weight and size (if you disregard my current SE P900 - which is a bit bigger); my Discman changed to the Sony MD MZ30, then to the MZ90 and now my MP3 Player weighs 30 grams; then there's my apartment - which is smaller then the room in my parents house, but bigger than the one i had in Hertzlia (the first one). you see - size doesn't matter - or does it?

Monologue
-----------
Check out FAZ this week to see my latest article (soon to be published) on the privatization of religion; it is set to be a big project that i want to work on, but nevermind. anyways, i think that this is it for this week

Epitath
--------
The following messages go out to everyone out there:
(1) Next week - Jerusalem film festival
(2) "Jazz BaYam Hadom"
(3) Please help me with my latest problems, reply, be in touch
(4) Ronna - Since i'm going to be in jerusalem, i think that it a good time to meet your B/F- after a year and a half in which it just didn't get there...

And i shall End with the words of Benjamin Franklin to celebrate the United Statian Day of Independence...
"Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God."

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

"Not until a machine can write a Bonnet or compose a concerto because of
thoughts and emotions felt, and not by the chance fall of symbols, could
we agree that machine equals brain-that is, not only write it but know
that it had written it. No mechanism could feel (and not merely
artificially signal, an easy contrivance) pleasure at its successes,
grief when its valves fuse, be warmed by flattery, be made miserable by
its mistakes, be charmed by sex, be angry or depressed when it cannot
get what it wants."
Professor Jefferson's Lister Oration for 1949

Posted by jk at 10:07 PM | Comments (0)

June 15, 2004

Gan Shula Newsletter

Well, Keeping it short.

University stuff
----------------
I always said that being rejected by the best is the way to live (wow to all my exes who are reading right now) so here's a short update from myself... first of all, i was rejected by Oxford and Cambridge, meaning that if i'm not good enough for them, i may be good enough for their places. that's my logic. i'm still waiting to hear from edignburgh, but from day to day i feel that it's a wild goose chase, no real chance getting accepted there. but nevermind. So, well, i got accepted to Haifa Uni for M.A/Ph.D in philosophy; all i have to do is waste one year of my life for an internship and to complete something like 20 hours of courses and afterwartds i can be a fully pledged student there.

Graduation Party
-----------------
As much as reichmann is prestigious, i think that they will not hold a prom like most B-Type american college movies, so i'm hosting a graduation party this friday at my domain, all incomes are meant to be used to pay for my tuition next year (it's free, but contributions are welcome). as this mail is intended only to my friends and people i can rely on, please let me know how will you help with the party, will you bartend, will you help with something else. what are you bringing et cetera.

Summer
------
It's getting to hot for me in here, please let me know what to do.

Anyways, that's it for today, i have some issues to take care of. I'm sorry (or am i?) for not writing that often, i just have other stuff to do.

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 10:59 AM | Comments (0)

April 03, 2004

Gan Shula Newsletter

Passover
--------
Well, first of all, happy passover to you all, hope you are enjoying yourself in this time of year (i certainly know who does and who doesn't) and i want to see you all in Yom-Haatzmaout in a party that we will hold. I wish you all you ever wanted except illegal things, since they are bad. and when you are all reading "Ma Nishtana" remember that it could be worse, you could be saying "nothing". i think that most people i know evolved this year, didn't they?

Phone
-----
Well, this is the only way i can let people know about it - I am currently in Costa-Rica, on business and other matters, and there is no reception here, actually neither Cellcom nor Orange have a roaming agreement. so for the next week or so i will be unavailable for phone calls, smss, faxes or cybersex. however, my internet connection will be available, so you can either mail or icq me. Please don't nag or spam.

Master of Puppets
-----------------
Well, i sent my admissions form for my Masters (and hopefully Ph.D) to 5 universities: Oxford, Edinburgh, Cambridge, Tel Aviv and Haifa, hoping to get accepted to one of the first three, and then trying to get money to pay for it, but nevermind - i will in the end someway finance it, sell a kidney or something - you know... this concluded a month and a half in which i was detached from reality since i needed to write a seminary assignment on the right for Civil Disobedience in the extreme right in israel. if any one wants me to send him the assignment, i'd love it.

Ambassador of Good Will
-----------------------
Well, besides the really needed work here, i took upon myself another job, i am going to bring tourist to israel, so i am convincing people to come to israel, my stupid act of zionism; so please give me reasons to come to israel so i can explain other people.

Well, i only did write this to say happy passover, so i quit.

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Michael Reggev's Reply to my message

---Disclaimer---
You are receiving this reply becausee you wrote to me, as one who may be interested in your babbling. should you want to stop getting these replies, you should either stop writing, or at least tell me so. Doing the first will be considered offensive. If you're unhappy with my paragraph-to-paragraph style of reply, tough.
---Disclaimer---

Passover
--------
We wish you a merry passover, wish you a merry easter, wish you a merry pasqua, or whatever way you want to call it...
things are indeed different for me this passover in comparrison to earlier ones, and the concept of "latzet meavdut lejeyrut" is dawning on me. on the other hand, passover also marks for me memmories of death, both of family (my grandma died around this time of year) and of friends (when did you say the anniversary of Mike's Place? also, I don't know if you knew the guy, but if you did, you should know that Itai Ekstein is no more). It's tourbulent, but in the overall i think we are slowly progressing to a better world, and hope still has a home with me.

Phone
-----
what do you mean, you're unavailable for cybersex?! but i thought we had a date for after the seder! ;) j/k... knock yourself out in costa rica, and try to get some 'rica's on behalf of us all...

Master of Puppets
-----------------
good luck with the universities, as well as with financing yourself. i'd very much like to read your assignment, i just hope there'll be enough room in my inbox for it... :)

Ambassador of Good Will
-----------------------
besides praising our hot weather, and reminding them of the historical sites (lowest dry land on earth, birthplace of their lord and saviour, that kinda shit), you could also point out that it's one of the safest places on earth... yeah, you heard me, one of the safest. with security guards at the entrance to each kiosk, israel has one of the lowest crime rates out there. annoying, and true for all the wrong reasons, but still true. to this you could add the fact that with the bad press the place has been getting, tour packages should be available at low low prices.
as the saying goes, meaz yatza matok...

--
m.

- "Pka!"
William T. Cock's summation for 1999 - 2003

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Posted by jk at 06:54 PM | Comments (0)

March 04, 2004

Gan Shula Newsletter

Foreplay
--------
Well, I went to see this show this week, it's called 'In A Dark Dark Land'; Totally psyched. i liked it (Ayelet - 10x) and i hope you all have some culture in your lives nowadays, the whole point of this is that i think that nowadays the secular religion (art) is underestimated and we should once in every few weeks commit an act of faith.

Governmental Ethics
-------------------
I have my first meeting of the "Governmental Ethics" committee on sunday, and i'm 'Exited' as hell, I will have to force myself into getting enough force to go against the ones i appreciate and talk about most of the corruption in Ramat Hasharon, which is hard. All the way you go and say, "Well, I wanna be in politics in order to influence" and then, once you get to know these people, well, i donnu, I feel that it's my DUTY to go against the ones who govern and state what i think is wrong. so, i donnu, i might just will.

Costa-Rica
----------
Have to fly there next month, well, for work related issues. again, If any one is in the area, i'd love to host him (i know it's only 5 hours from Brazil, 10 from New Zealand and 2 from LA) so please be nice and join me; once you get there, i believe that i can say that you're more than invited to sleep in my hotel room and go do whatever you want.

Master of Puppets
-----------------
Well, i bought the registration kits for both Tel-Aviv and Haifa in order to get myself in there; don't know why, don't know how, it's just so strange, that for the first time in my life, i find myself so close to my Bachelor degree and yet so far away from adulthood, i thought that these four years would help me mature, and i found that they didn't; i'm so different from what i was 4 years ago, yet i am so distant from adulthood. Well, when my parents were my age, i was already 5 years old, when my mom got her LLB i already knew how to read and write, already started to express my opinions, and i don't know. i can't find myself in that situation. I don't know why, i just don't see myself settling down (maybe not.) and holding myself in a 9-5 job for the rest of my life.

Party's Party
-------------
Went to the Yachad Party's Party, got everyone intoxicated (acted as bartender); now i don't know whether everyone hates me cause they had to vomit in the toilet so much or love me cause they got so upside down that they can't tell left from right (go and settle in the occupied territories ppl...) the funny thing was that i learned that not all that glitters is gold (or blond) and that you can't always heal with time; my legs were injured for two days (i was bear foot and they broke glass there) and i had pieces of glass in my feet for two days.

Moral Question:
---------------
This newsletter ends with a Moral Question - let me know what you think (first prize is the heavenly kingdom):

Can life be all too perfect where you can have it all; is it enough?

The reason that i'm asking it will be revealed.

My personal opinion is that one can't have everything in life, since it will make him sinful; once must still have goals. let me know what you think.

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Michael Reggev's Reply to My Newsletter

as is my tradition, i shall answer you paragraph by paragraph...

Fiveplay (thank dog i´m dyslexic)
-----------
i tried to think when i´ve last gone for a good show or a good movie (stress the good)... the results were disheartening. maybe my innerself isn't liberated enough, but i've been getting kinda numb inside. i'm actually gonna do something about this in the near future - but more on that later.
don't call art the secular religion. it is a definition i quite dislike, for several reasons. it implies that art cannot be non-secular. it implies that try though we may, even those of us who are more enlightened cannot escape the opiate of the masses. it's a bad connotation for religion, for art, and for secularity.

Municipal Committees
-----------------------------
well, i don't know if it's behind you or before you, but if governmental ethics is anything like environment, here are a few tips:
make sure you know what you want changed.
make sure you listen to the others while keeping quiet, rather than becoming a part of the arguments.
when you can't bare it any longer, find the middle ground between the two sides that are saying the exact same thing, and turn it into a resolution. make sure you vote on it and that it's entered in the protocol.
having established yourself as a peacemaker and as a serious young chap (as opposed to the collection of old farts), present your points clearly, in factual form, and try to turn them into resolutions if possible.
silence you phone for the duration of the discussion and answer it only if you must.
when it seems like everyone has had their say and you've met all your objectives - pass a resolution to adjurn.
the results of the only meeting so far of the environmental committee:
1. "this committee calls on the municipal board to allocate the resources neccessary to train the workers and inhabitants of the municipality on the values of sustainability and citizen participation", proposed by yours truly, accepted unanimously.
2. the creation of three subcommittees.

Tel Aviv
----------
the time has come, my little friends, to talk of many things - of bees and birds and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings... or rather, of leaving home. yes, the lot has been cast, and in the near future i'll be leaving the villa for a humbler abode in the big city. i suppose i'll throw a house-warming party at some point, so you can expect an invite. enjoy costa rica.

Muppets
-----------------
yes, you're going through a serious phase... though it's hard to imagine, you will find a nomal job that'll keep your interest, for a while, and will allow you your other hobbies in spite of everything. when our parents were our age, the world was quite different to the way it is now, and our israeli microcosmos more so. don't try to measure yourself by comparing yourself to them (they can do that for you better than you ever will) - trust in yourself to know what's allowing you a better life, and for fuck sake, even if you grow into a well adjusted yuppie, don't lose the child inside. (qkumba zoo reference (; )

purim parties
-----------------
okay, so i decided to go by first come - first served on the parties this purim. it cost me your party and the party's party, but it got me to a birthday+purim party of a friend in macabim (a lot of good people whom i haven't seen in a long time), and to a party in an apartment in tel aviv (lots of alcohol and when the evening ended, i had to share a sleeping bag with a cutie from haifa... poor me).
note to the wise - when going to parties like these, wear sandals at the very least.

practical answer
---------------------
i'm sorry, but i do not think your question is relevant. your premise is an empty set. one cannot have everything in life, because that would cause a paradox. the funny thing is that i encountered this at a judaism class in bar iran: how can god be infinite and limitless (thus uniform), while the world is finite, both contained and surrounded by god. this paradox is the one a believer must embrace. i maintain my agnosticity, and claim that life can simultaniously be all too perfect and not all too perfect where you can have it all.

hasta el Martes,
mrg

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Posted by jk at 09:08 PM | Comments (0)

February 28, 2004

Gan Shula Newsletter

Contents in the rear view mirror may seem closer than they appear
-----------------------------------------------------------------
(i) 10 Years of Struggle
(ii) Purim Party
(iii) School Starts, Again
(poison iv) Recorded Demo
(v) Pictures from the party
(vi) Sex Life?
(vii) Sex on The Beach?
(viii) Regards

10 Years of Struggle
--------------------
Well, I've been a Vegetarian for around 10 years, and i see that i have not succeeded with making any changes, except in the macro area, just being a veggie, without any experience in ruining labs, freeing animals and etc, so today i have made some decisions. I finally understood how my Vegetarianism stands with my Creed, i don't know if it is in purpose or it isn't it's just that way - i am a vegetarian since i do not believe in using force in order to subject your will on someone/something else. therefore, i have decided that my silent and non violent protest will continue with more publicity, just so that all of you will understand the connection, please read my next article at FAZ (after the one that will be posted tomorrow - since it's already being edited). i'm going to write about the reasons to understand us, the veggies. moreover, i had decided that i'm gradually moving to extreme veganism, since i cannot face the moral and ethical consequences of abusing and applying force on innocent beings.

Purim Party
-----------
On other matters, This coming friday i shall hold a party to celebrate Purim, the general theme is addictions. every person is requested to bring whatever he feels that is needed in order to make the party work and to dress as his favorite addiction. the party is "open source" and free of charge.

School Starts, Again
--------------------
But only on wednesday... yes, that is true, i don't have to go to school till wednesday, i am free (in a relative manner) so i am abusing the time to sit on the beach, surf the internet and, of course, read and write for my seminary assignment. i have to write about the right of the religious right in israel to reject the law when it is in contradiction with their religion. if anyone has some material, let me know - i'm lost, and after reading 1200 pages already (and only writing 15) i got to many conclusions, some of them are very very paranoid. we are dealing with extremists.

Recorded Demo
-------------
Got all the studio equipment working in my house and i'm now in the beginning of recording my album, the band (me, myself and i) will be called "The Rest" and we (i) are (am) doing Rock (ahhhm, you may call it melancholic funk if you insist). i recorded a demo to check out the gear at my house, you can find it at:
http://www.zilzul.com/Pics/Jonathan%20Klinger%20-%20Lama%20At.mp3
I hope you like it, it's something i've written a while ago and now i'm looking for people to come and record with me, need people that play on everything and people that sing.

Pictures from the party
-----------------------
Are also to be found at Http://www.zilzul.com/Pics , i think that you all should look before considering NOT COMING to this party. there will be a camera crew.

Sex Life?
---------
People, i realized the problem i have (or not really) - it's not that i am alone, it's that all of you are either together with someone or looking for being together with someone, that's the whole thing, if you'd just stop it everyone would be happy.

Sex on The Beach?
-----------------
Well, these sunny days just made me want to go out of the house and get to the beach, so i did, this afternoon (well, i just took off most of my clothes and decided to take a walk, the only problem was that there were too many people on the beach (around 5) so i decided to walk back home and do it another time); anyways, you're more than invited to join me and come over for a swim, it's the most beautiful shore, and all of you know that.

Regards
-------
(1) Keren, Ron, Bon Jovi - Happy Birthday
(2) Nelly - Congratulations on getting your email back (?)
(3) Yoav (Shivak) - Good luck with Nezikin.

Anyways, gotta get back to my books
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 06:06 PM | Comments (0)

January 31, 2004

Gan Shula Newsletter

Caution, Contents may be hot.
-----------------------------
(1) Life Death and Other Threatening Situations (Summary of the whole newsletter)
(2) Alas, Failure
(3) Party (i) - Avia's Summer?
(4) Party (ii) - Redemption of a Promiscuous Mind
(5) Party (iii) - Reincarnation
(6) Party (iv) - Downfall
(7) Party (v) - Down in a hole
(8) Afterparty - Epilogue
(9) Dialog with God.
(10) what the Faz?

Life Death and Other Threatening Situations.
--------------------------------------------
So, i moved, finally, have a place i can call home, after so many years, my head had rested in a place so calm, so relaxing, so far away from civilization. Summary: (1) Wasn't accepted to the amsterdam conference. nevermind (2) Had a party, lots of people, lost to alcohol, woke up cleaned everything. (3) Pondering regarding the meaning of life. If you want you can read everything...

Alas, Failure
-------------
Well, it all started three weeks ago when i sent my application letter to the YiFC, the conference in Amsterdam for 2 weeks. It was supposed to be great, but i'll never know - I was rejected. too bad, well, i can go there sometime else. Anyways, it's always good to be rejected by the best, that's what i say. (all my exes say Yo-Wow).

Party (i) - Avia's Summer?
--------------------------
Well, it was friday, 21:38, and i sat with Saar drinking Absinthe, not knowing what will be in a few hours, and i said "well, no one is coming, it's like Avia's Summer" (the story.). so i thing that i was wrong. in an hour and a half, there were so many people, i just don't remember who was and what was. i'll explain...

Party (ii) - Redemption of a Promiscuous Mind
---------------------------------------------
Well, My parents arrived and started to criticize my house. of course, that's obvious, never let your parents into your life. as a wise man said "A parent is not a friend, you should be aware". I put a big tent all over the yard, so that it wouldn't rain on the people. I expected rain, but it didn't come; i don't know whether it is good or bad. while putting up the Tent you could say i learned one thing - "A Chain is only as strong as it's weakest link". but the good thing is the satisfaction of building something yourself. i thought "If you build it, they will come".

(5) Party (iii) - Reincarnation
--------------------------------
So i built it, and they did come, by the dozens. "Too many happy faces", i thought to myself, and went for another drink. I'll stop for a short comic relief here to explain something. Well, last saturday i went to the bookstore, and the cashier there was nice (Cashier - Girl who sits at the register in the bookstore, not guy). so i gave her my phone number, and we started to chat via SMS, so i invited her - without any real intention of dating her. nevermind, it's all in the head. So there were a lot of people i thought i hadn't seen in a while, and it was a good feeling.

(6) Party (iv) - Downfall
-------------------------
Well, i took pictures through most of the party, and all of them would be on ILHOST later on this week. through these pictures i realized what had happened - I had been dead drunk. i drank too much and fainted sometime between 00:47 and 01:17, since the picture taken at 00:47 was ok, and the one from 01:17 was full of unclarity. I had thrown up so many times (at least that's what i was told) and i had offered several girls to stay for intercourse (again, that's what i was told).

(7) Party (v) - Down in a hole
------------------------------
At 03:47 i had woken up, only to see my domain tarnished with mud, beer and dead bodies. there were still several people that danced, and i had this sick feeling. some person bit me for no reason (or no known reason) and i had this itch, similar to pain, but not known to me.

(8) Afterparty - Epilogue
-------------------------
Yoav and Ayelet had stayed to sleep. Yoav, promising to wake up at six to surf the waves, woke us up at 10, after sleeping through the morning. we cleaned the house up, had a good time playing music, that's it. i enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the party. isn't it ironic? well, the moral of the story is that you're all invited to come over, just not all at once.

(9) Dialog with God.
-----------------------
During the morning, we cleaned up and removed the tent. in the middle i had this weired feeling, i had started to see yellow stains of everything, all moving, all floating. the yellow stains had gotten over me. that's what i told Ayelet as well. Anyways, started to talk to god somewhere in the middle. he didn't answer. Agnosia at its best.

(10) what the Faz?
------------------
Started to write a column for FAZ, (www.faz.co.il) called 'Notes to the Wall', i'd appreciate if you start to visit and write your comments.

Mixed Feelings,
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 07:20 PM | Comments (0)

January 09, 2004

Gan Shula Newsletter

Follow my way, I might be contagious.
-------------------------------------------------
i Miscompassion
ii Hyperactive Powerboy
iii Humanoid and Sugar Free
iv Poisonous?
v Sunburn and the Mysterious Lifeline
vi Preaching to the Choir
vii Moving? Just keep on...
viii The Angels get a better view
ix It's only in my head
x Isn't that the way everybody's got to do?

Miscompassion
-------------
Deepest sympathies to everyone who, like me, were alone at New Years eve; and moreover, larger lagers for the ones who were with ones who they wish they hadn't been with. May all of us rejoice with the one we concur phantasms on later on in our lives, in the mean while let's all share our miscompassion to each other.

Hyperactive Powerboy
--------------------
...And before we talk of any repentance, try walking in my shoes (Depeche Mode)
Last friday (actually exactly a week ago) I had the regular friday eve dinner with my family, the only real difference was the fact that Omri, my cousin, had gotten his driver's permit, and needed an accomplice (or should i say accompanying driver). He has this hobby, called SnowBoarding, who he favors, so i was convinced to tag along with him to Mt. Hermon early morning and take part at such activity, I queried my Guy 'Mudad'ib' Schwartz to assist and get a ride, being such an active wintersports man; he agreed. What was set is that we pick Omri up at 05:00 and start our escalation towards Mt. Hermon.

Humanoid and Sugar Free
-----------------------
First things First, we had to go out on friday night, since without the joy of drinking, there is no essence for life. we went to the new 'Temple Bar' located at the Cinema City of Gelilot, in expectance of filling our livers with several percentages of Alcohol. Behind the bar stood Yael, a nice Bartender who also tends at the 'Cats'; I ordered my Guinness (+ Johnny Walker Chaser) and continued on drinking with several other drinks (Hoegarden Grand Cru (330ml, 8.7%), Famous Grouse (50ml, 43%), and a few other freebies from Yael) and we got back home around 01:25.

Sunburn and the Mysterious Lifeline
-----------------------------------
The time was now half past eight in the morning, we had already finished our long journey to the mountains of the north, arriving to the Hermon Mountain. I had stood in tremendous lines waiting for my gear, which i had to rent, costing me a total of around 400 Nis. but all was well, i had my Snowboard, had my Baggie Jeans and went to the frost. unexpectablly, it was not as cold as i expected, i believe it was around 4c above freezing point, so i stood there, barefoot in the snow, without a coat or jacket, looking at everyone and still having the taste of whisky in my mouth.

Poisonous?
----------
The time was 04:17, a mere 30 seconds following my departure from the shower, my phone rang, it was Guy. he had fallen sick from the alcohol consumption of last night, and said that he would not be able to attend the joycefull phantasm of Snowboarding, i had to depart on this journey alone, to assist my clan member with his quest for snow. i shall call this quest "SnowQuest". i had asked Oran, the faithful Thalaron, to take my to Guy's domain, where my Car had rested through the night, and so he did, which rewarded him that night with 1Kg of Baclawe.

Preaching to the Choir
----------------------
It took me around two hours to understand what am i to do with this vehicle, however, once i got to it, it was all fun and games (except the falls, which i got used to). the ride back was fun as well, but it seems too boring to discuss.

Moving? Just keep on...
-----------------------
Tomorrow i'm finally starting my moving to Cesaria, the first step is painting the house, that should take me half the day. i believe that around feb 3rd (the date of my supposed coming to life) i shall hold a party. Besides that, if you want to come and help, i'd appreciate it.

The Angels get a better view
-----------------------------
Maria says she's dying, i say i`m starting my life. Strange thing, my parents were in a vacation at St. Anton's up in Austria, and had dinner with the Princess of Lichtenstein, so my first question was whether she had any daughters my age, the response was yes, so i queried regarding their resentment of eating flesh, which was true. so i`m going there on February sometime (maybe) to meet her, who knows, dating a soon to be Princess may look good on my resume.

It's only in my head
--------------------
'Do you think that you're were dreaming? i said sometimes i don't know' (Adam Duritz).
Well, i don't know if you noticed or not, but my life is getting more and more hallucigenic; next week there's this Shpongle concert in israel, and i want you all to attend, so we can have lots of fun. I actually see myself living in a very strange fantasy world, it's all like the sky are black and brown, nothing special, it's just the detached feeling from everything. well, the thing was, that Oren asked me what to get me for my Birthday, like every year. this year i had no answer. all the previous years i had three wishes, A Guitar (that after saving money for more than 3 years, i was able to buy), World Peace (which i thing i'm on the right track of getting) and an active Sex Life (which currently i don't know whether i have or not, but i don't think that's exactly what i looked for). I got to the point in my life that i have all the materialistic things i need. Ayelet put it best when she said that the lack of love in my life is only because i have everything else. so i don't know. you just can't have it all. Karma.

Isn't that the way everybody's got to do?
-----------------------------------------
This is the point for personal messages:
(1) Eyal - Mazal tov for the wedding.
(2) Saar - Thanks
(3) Maya_Lan - hope you're having fun, send me pics of everything
(4) Maya_Rosenthal - let me know what's going on in your life
(5) Any one interested in helping in the Moadonit is more than welcome. we need you people.
(6) I am getting rid of a lot of stuff when i`m moving out, let me know if you want something that i have, i might be dismissing it.

Hasta la victoria siempre.

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 10:30 PM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

So Should I Shut Up?
--------------------
i Knock on Wood
ii The Plot Thickens
iii No Business like Show Business
iv Felony, you say?
v Where I Come from we don't do that sort of thing
vi Personal Hi Jeans
vii Farewell
viii Aftermath

Knock on Wood
-------------
Well, the last time i wrote you guys i was sitting in an airport in Geneva, getting back from the whole Geneva Accord thingie; and i thought that everything will be just fine. they called my name and i shut the computer down and went on the plane. however, i was to blind to see all the fog the surrounded the plane, that prevented it from taking off for an Hour. the time was 0730, my flight from Zurich to Tel-Aviv was leaving at 0955, i believed that there was time, to be certain i asked the flight attendant (Flying Waitress) whether we will be leaving soon, and she answered positively.

The Plot Thickens
-----------------
At 0855, just a few minutes before the boarding started at Zurich, our plane decided to take off. I, Foolishly, believed that it's a 30 Minute flight and that we will make it, having my luggage flown over the next day or something.... at 0910 we were already above Zurich, however, we did not have a time slot to land, so we waited 30 more minutes above the airport. I Believed that i will make it. i can do it! we landed at 0951 and i ran as fast as i can, ignoring all security to make it to my flight. The flight left without me and my luggage. I went to the Counter as fast as i can and told them that i had to give a lecture in my School at 1900 that day, and if i won't make it i won't get my degree (which was half true, i only needed to give a lecture) so after blaming the swiss for the holocaust and the vanishing of the entire jewish state, i got a plane ticket for the 1245 ElAl flight to Tel Aviv, that will be there at 1745.

No Business like Show Business
------------------------------
Got to the ElAl Counter and went through all the stupid security issues, and then queried them regarding two things; First of all, the current location of my luggage, and the estimated time to get compensation from the airline regarding the loss of my beloved Suits, Coat and Presents. Two, the current situation with my Veggie Meal, and the reason for me being famished throughout the flight. both of them were solved. My luggage was lost, and then found just 10 seconds prior to my boarding, which was still in time to get back with me, and my veggie meal was forsaken, and is replaced by a cheap bottle of scotch. I got on the plane and received the 'Best Service' the Israeli national mover has to offer; of course, it wasn't their fault, they were nice, just used to the stereotypical israeli, that isn't as polite as i am.

Felony, you say?
----------------
Landed in Israel and called everyone to assure them that i am coming to the lecture, the time was 1745 and i was headed to the Passport Control. Hadas had just told me that the Airport workers in Custom are striking, and in protest they will check everyone coming in on the green line. I Went to the Biometric sensors, which of course, did not work for me, forcing me to stand in line with the 'normal' people. after passing this obstacle, i had to go take my luggage. as i waited for my luggage, that reluctened to come, i spoke to my Father, giving me a smart idea. Then it happened, i took both bottles of Scotch from my bag and went through the RED line, telling them - 'Hello, I Would like to pay customs for these', and giving them a small shock, 5 Minutes and 98 Nis Later, i was out, looking at the Non-Moving line that stood still for around three hours.

Where I Come from we don't do that sort of thing
------------------------------------------------
It was 1810, and i got to the Parking Lot, after several minutes of waiting for the Bus, that looked like hours. paid for my parking and got out. I drove as fast as i could to School, and eventually got there 5 Minutes prior to class, only to find that Shlomit had betrayed me and sold my lecture out in favor of watching a Fellini movie. i was out voted in class, and sat down to watch the movie. my conclusion - Don't work too hard for other people.

Personal Hi Jeans
-----------------
Well, another interesting thing i did that week was my trip to Kalkilya, but in short - one paragraph. Organized by the Peres Center, we went to listen and look at people living near the separation wall, both israeli and palestinian. met some very nice people, from both sides. the only really interesting thing was this - Well, i woke up very early that day, after a short sleep, so i was in terrible need for my Caffine, but there was none. when we got to the City Hall at Ja'ayus i asked one of the locals whether there's a kitchen where i can make myself a cup of coffee. having him being such a nice person, he decided to take me there and to boil water in order to make traditional Arabic coffee. what both of us forgot was that this is a Palestinian village and that my tour guide and fellow friends are not aware of my absence. 5 short minutes (i guess that for them the minutes seemed forever) i got a call to my cellphone, querying whether i am still alive, i answered that i am making coffee, and that's it, i'll be back in a jiff. Conclusion - Coffee makes people feel closer, drink it often.

Farewell
--------
This is where i am supposed to leave you for this week, but guess what, there's more. next week i will be departing on an israeli tour, so let me know where are you people and where can i meet you. especially the following people: Ron, Yoav, Carmi, Lem.

Aftermath
---------
(1) This friday we will be holding a candle lighting at our house for friends. feel invited to come. call me for more details
(2) Don't look Back in anger
(3) We're moving out in a month so if anyone's interested in our apartment let us know.
(4) Don't drink and drive

Regards
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

"Not until a machine can write a Bonnet or compose a concerto because of thoughts and emotions felt, and not by the chance fall of symbols, could we agree that machine equals brain-that is, not only write it but know that it had written it. No mechanism could feel (and not merely artificially signal, an easy contrivance) pleasure at its successes, grief when its valves fuse, be warmed by flattery, be made miserable by its mistakes, be charmed by sex, be angry or depressed when it cannot get what it wants."
Professor Jefferson's Lister Oration for 1949

Posted by jk at 07:41 PM | Comments (0)

December 01, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Appendix A: Table of Contents:
------------------------------
(1) The Return of Sarcasm, Coffee II
(2) Geneva Accord - The Full Report
(3) Geneva Accord - How i Got There
(4) Thoughts,
(5) Afterthoughts
(6) Short one, ain't it?

The Return of Sarcasm, Coffee II
--------------------------------
"When Europeans Make Espresso, they just put filter coffee in a small cup, when i make filter coffee, I just put a whole lot of espresso in a big cup".
Think about it, and do what you will

Geneva Accord - The Full Report
------------------------------
Well, I got to Geneva for the whole signing of the peace "treaty" that isn't really a treaty, it was great. I think that most of you guys heard about it, at least in brief, so i won't talk about the ceremony itself, just what i thought about it. Well, Nevermind.....
It began with rough security that reminds me the way the shopping mall is secured, just that this was done by the local police. after i got in without being on the list (i was on the list, just not their list) and convening them that i am invited (though i was) i got through security, whilst others who were not let in stayed and protested by singing "Shalom Peace Salam" outside and drumming. (i actually thought of joining them since it looked promising, where there is a protest and communication, there is a possibility for exposure).

Geneva Accord - How i Got There
------------------------------
Well, I will spare you the long and boring description of who i had to talk to and what i had to do in order to get an invitation. i just have to thank Hadas for her effort in getting me on the list. But the whole thing went kinda strange. on sunday, after reading all the news around and talking with several people, i got to the airport, only to understand that i am on the same flight as the Meretz delegation for Berlin. well, it's the first time i really had someone to entertain me during a flight, so Yippee! but really, nothing special. I got to Geneva at night, took the bus (their system for payment is stupid?!?!) and got to my hotel, put my things down and went for a beer (10CHF == 30Nis for a pint of Guinness, can you believe it?) the next day i succeeded in:
(a) Breaking the strap of my Omega watch
(b) Ignore the basic needs like food and toilet
(c) Figure out that the coat i had brought was not needed (it was only +4c outside)

Thoughts
--------
I think that the best part of the whole ceremony was the f**k ups, including:
(a) Richard Dreyfus called Usama El-Baz (the personal adviser to the King of Morocco) Usama Bin-L (and then figured out what he had done)
(b) Aviv Geffen went on stage with a singer called Dikla (which i personally think was once Dani or Dekel or even Shimon) who f**ked up really bad, and was able to sing a whole song without getting one tone right. good thing that Daniel Solomon was there to cover up.
(c) Met Galia Golan, who i was supposed to attend her class the next morning at 9 o'clock (which is quite now...) and told her that i won't be able to attend the lesson since i am in Geneva. She got my humor.
(d) Actually got my camera back at the end (they didn't allow ppl to take cameras inside since they thought we would wreck the whole think)
(e) Talked to Fools of the Prophecy, which sounded really nice. we should go to one of their concerts.
(f) Succeeded in being at the back of a Channel I interview without noticing, since i was talking to Yassir Abed-Rabu at the same time.

Afterthoughts
-------------
I actually completely forgot to tell you about last week in berlin. At short it was fun, I saw Frank Black (Pixies) Perform and i wrecked both my feet. Met several interesting people, and had sex with none of them. still out of the Mile High Club. soon to join.
The only thing is, that i found out that my newsletter is kinda like a blog, so i donnu, i resent blogs and i don't know whether i should just blog it or shouldn't i. let me know.

Short one, ain't it?
--------------------
But it's since i`m waiting for my flight to board, nothing else.
Notes:
(1) Ron - Couldn't get to ya since i was in Geneva. Next week i will come, i promise (?)
(2) Hadas - Read your letter, I can't get you anything since you didn't tell me what to bring
(3) Maya (Lan) - Hope you have a good time in Thailand, let me know when are you having the Going away party.
(4) Everyone - We will be holding a seminar around February, that will be open to everyone, on the subject of Regional Development. please join

Regards
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
Founder,
Zilzul Ltd.
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 08:29 AM | Comments (0)

November 08, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Words of Wisdom
---------------
(1) Sand In The Hourglass
(2) WhatToDo?
(3) Back2School
(4) Kill Quentin
(5) Coast2Coaster
(6) All Your Base Are Belong To Us
(7) Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
(8) By The Way
(9) Toilet
(10) 22:35
(11) Next Week?
(12) Things I'll Never Say

Sand In The Hourglass
--------------------------
As you all know, the elections are finally over, and i have some more sand in my hourglass, as i met some lovely people and got to know some things that i didn't know about myself. In the final week of the elections we got to work about 20 Hours a day, but nevermind, it was with good people, and i got to have a joyful time.

WhatToDo?
---------
As now i have more sand in my hourglass, i thought i would be able to do more things, however, that was a big mistake, since i had to get back to work, meaning that the first portion of my day is now taken by the activities regarding Telecom, and my other parts are dedicated to School and the other festivities include (but not only :-/) alcohol, music (and of course, note what's missing...)

Back2School
-----------
Or was school back into me? well, most of the courses i took looked familiar, was it because i had already taken them under different names? what's the big difference between "Public Policy and Decision Making" and "Decision Making under Public Policies"?? don't know, expect a round 100 in that again. however, backing up to school was quite an experience, i got another course with Lior (my Dr.) that involves Sex, Literature and Psychoanalisys (and of course LAW); well, that was good. and i got to have again more time to see more movies, having such a big part of my day in front of a computer, using only my hands and ears and not my eyes. i've decided to abuse every free resource in my body (and my computer) to see as many movies as i can this semester...

Kill Quentin
------------
The first movie i saw this week was "Kill Bill", which S**ked big time, i thought that he at least spent half of the last 4 years on the plot. well, he didn't and the movie was filled with CGi effects, but no story. Same for Bad Boys II - but in 2:30 instead of 1:45, and with funnier jokes; the big surprise of this week was Freddy Vs. Jason, which i saw muted, and sucked big time.

Coast2Coaster
-------------
Woke up this friday, was 07:30, got an SMS from my Mom (in Paris); she said that my kid brother (Dor) was kinda upset and had gotten "Shabat" for something and was not going to Commanding Course; i had to attend a Birth party (new girl) of someone from work, and then go there, got out of bed and bathed. took my car and headed towards tel aviv in traffic. got to the hotel where the party was at, had 3 coffees (1 Instant, 1 Espresso and 1 Cappuccino) and then went out without ppl noticing to my parents house. changed cars and went to pick Zabar to join me on this ride, as i promised to take him to his G/F l8r on that day, instead of taking the train. got to my parents' house by 11 and took the Car, heading to his settlement. got to his house and waiting till he came with the person that sold him his new bike, which we had to take to Modi'in. we took the person to Modi'in and on the way Guy haggled the price of the Accessories he had to buy from. we got to his house and Guy went up to take the things, promising him he will pay him later. we headed to Be'er Sheva and then to my brother's base, while all the way i was nagged by both my parents (separately) and my grandmother, wishing to know what is up with Dor. after driving about 3 Hours, we got to the Egyptian border, and from there headed to his base.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us
------------------------------
We finally got there, and we couldn't get in - but more important, NO ONE KNEW WHERE HE WAS!. i was getting worried, but after some treats offered to the Soldier at the Entrance and other things, we found him and took him to a short walk, where we explained the way of life, and how it F**ks you up big time when you least expect it. we gave him his treats and headed back to the Center, from there heading up north.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
-------------------------
Guy decided it would be best if we took the road parallel to the Gaza strip and connect to the main road near Ashkelon instead of Be'er Sheva; Being such a peasant in these matters, i agreed. I noticed we were short in Gas, but i figured that there would be some stations on the way. 50 Km later, the Gas light turned on and i realized that not only we were going twice the legal speed (180 Km/Hr) we were REALLY short in gas and won't be able to make it anywhere, while we would be stuck there forever, since NO ONE GOES THIS WAY!. after going 50 Km more, we found a gas station; you know how it is in the real world, where the Diesel is discounted by 70 - 90 Agorot for each liter, well, down there it wasn't, and i found myself paying 300Nis for 80 Liters of Diesel. but it was okay, we were able to make it up to Guy's girlfriend's Kibbutz, up north.

By The Way
----------
I really needed to piss, and the odometer was around 700Km from our start point. we stopped to Pick Daphna up with us, so i would have company when i go back from the Kibbutz (1Hr from Glilot). i forgot about it. When we reached the interchange at Zichron, i really needed to piss, but nevermind. we got to Ayelet (Guy's G/F) around 19:40, which was 40 Minutes after picking Daphna up, and had dinner. Of course i had to question her parents regarding all the food cause of my vegetarianism and stuff, but nevermind. then we sat for Coffee (hadn't had coffee since guy and i stopped in a gas station at 14:30, so it was much needed), went out for a smoke with Daphna and then.

Toilet
------
Not in the entire history of mankind was an exit of fluids from the human body so fulfilling, i had not attended the ritual of Pissing since 08:00 and this was relieving. nevermind, we headed back home.

22:35
-----
It took us exactly 35 Mins to drive back (please note the incredible speeds of that day and mind that i attempted not to break any law) and i went to take a long bath, then Pizza meter, and the the Satchmo, a regular friday if you forget the fact that i drove a 1000Km that day.

Next Week?
----------
I`m off to Berlin, from wednesday till monday, hope to have a good time, if any one wants to join, the hotel is on me...

Things I'll Never Say
---------------------
(1) Ron - are you back here? if so, ring....
(2) Sharon - hope you enjoy it in NZ for the meanwhile, be in touch
(3) Lem - Wanted to visit you when i was in Be'er Sheva, didn't answer, let me know if you're alive

Regards
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 04:40 PM | Comments (0)

September 23, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Table Of Contents
-----------------
(1) Afterthoughts
(2) How it Began
(3) The wheels keep Rolling
(4) Introducing.......
(5) Nishbar, Gala Gala
(6) From Dusk Till Dawn
(7) Does it Come in Pink?
Kalinka Mia
(6) Public Intoxication
(7) Good Will Hunting

Afterthoughts
-------------
Well, before i even start to tell you what has been through me in the last couple of days, I'll just tell you what i feel right now; it seems more important. It feels so strange to go around at the street and not to look behind your shoulder for the security people, it so strange to drive in the street without police escort, and it is really strange to have to stop at red lights. It seems that after just two days of living as a celebrity, i got used to the idea. i can't help it...

How it Began
------------
Well, Shimon Peres decided to have an 80th birthday party, a big celebration and they wanted some volunteers; of course i decided to go, with the help of Shlomit, who promised me it would be fun. I got assigned to assist two people, Mr. Rau (the president of the federal republic of Germany) and Mr. Piech (owner of Porsche and chairman of Volkswagen or something like that).

The wheels keep Rolling
-----------------------
I had to be at the Dan Hotel at Tel-Aviv on sunday, 08:00 for briefing. i found my first person, Mr. Piech, which didn't seem to need much of my help, so i left him with his friends and started to mingle until the other person i need to escort came. The first event was the laying of a corner stone for the Peres Center for Peace building. it's located in Jaffa in front of the Sea, with one of the best views in Israel. now these thoughts came to my head... this place is so good, why was it left barren until now, and then, after looking to my left, i saw that it has an old muslim burial ground next to it, and the conclusion followed, it was one too, and like the old muslim tradition, after a 100 years you can build on it. expect something strange to go there...

Introducing.......
------------------
After the corner stone ceremony there were some other things to do, a board members meeting of the Peres board of governors and other stuff, but i decided to go to Jerusalem to meet my President and the Israeli president. i hopped on the bus, followed by security and many other businessman and politicians. We were on the Way to Mr. Katzav, two students and fifty old people all with ambitions for Politics. the cocktail started around 17:00 and was due to end around 18:00 so we can get back to the Gala dinner. during this cocktail (which i believe was my 7th of that day) i met a few presidents of several countries that i believe to be of great importance, the most important one was Rau, that didn't seem to need all of my Attention.

Nishbar - Gala Gala
-------------------
After our visit to Mr. Katzav, we went to the Mann Auditorium in Tel Aviv (better known as "Heichal Hatarbout") for the Gala evening in honor of Mr. Peres (Shimi); attendants and participants: William J. Clinton, Ariel Sharon, Sharon Ayalon & Yoav, Rita & Rami, My Mom, several other presidents and nevermind.... the good thing about it was that i got to sit at the first row. the funny thing that night was something like this: i was walking with one of the other students accompanying me, a blonde girl originating from the former republic known as the soviet union. we talked and i told her that i have a ticket for the party that will be held later that night and she asked me how did i get my ticket, i laughed and told her that i have a talent to swallow semen; the reply i got was even funnier, she said that she does too, so i told her that we should get together sometime and check it (way2go!!!) and the reply i got from her was somewhat indicating of her stupid origin. she said "The last guy who got that privilege was 1000 times more a man than you" so i asked who it was... her answer is written in the form of a multiple choice one, try to guess who she talked about, i'll supply the answer at the bottom of the Email.
(A) Shimon Peres
(B) Bibi Nethanyahu
(C) Haim Revivo
(D) Dudu Topaz.

From Dusk Till Dawn
-------------------
The Gala evening ended around 23:00 and i was due to go out before all the security, join Mr. Rau and move to the party of Mr. Meiman, but, i didn't get to do that, i had to try and force myself on one of the buses but in the end i quit and went to the cats for a drink. i drank some Alc and went home, cause i had to wake up at 05:30 cause i needed to be back in the hotel at 07:00. the funny thing is that when i got to the hotel at 06:48 it was so empty, cause every one was still asleep from last night. around 08:30 everything came into life and we went to a panel at the Tel Aviv University.

Does it Come in Pink?
---------------------
There were 4 panels at the conference and i was supposed to attend all of them, instead i mingled and talked to several people that were interesting and made some good contacts in the israeli and global politics. the other thing i did that made me laugh all day was to escort the groups of children that were there from different schools and make them admire me.. i even got a picture with two little girls (18 or something) nevermind.

Kalinka Mia
-----------
After the conference, we had a party to celebrate the fact that there is no more work to do in reference to Peres, so we all started to dance, then Peres and Gorbachev started their speeches and afterwards came the interesting part, Gorbachev and Peres started to sing old Russian folk songs (Kalinka Mia and stuff) and were joined by an Arabic Drummer. you can say that you never had fun until you saw two people that are over 80 sing and dance.

Public Intoxication
-------------------
In order to make everyone happier faster, i decided to bring a bottle of vodka or something, so i went up to the lobby and asked them for a bottle, they said i`ll have to pay and i said that there's now problem, and almost took out my credit card when she said "500 Nis not including VAT" and i looked at the 50Nis bottle of smirnoff next to me and laughed... i went back downstairs without the bottle and decided to intoxicate everyone in a different way. i took the priceless bottles of champagne that were there and opened them, started to go through all the people and just force feed them with alcohol. after 5-6 champagne bottles, all the people started to look happier and dance, we kept on dancing until 24:00, then i went home to crash.

Good Will Hunting
-----------------
With all of my good will, i can just say one thing, this was the _Best_ two days of my life and i`ll do it any other day if needed. i love this politics thing. all i need to do now is get into public office

Regards (no messages today)
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 03:26 PM | Comments (0)

September 01, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Content
-------
(1) Is Immortal
(2) Is everything
(3) Is The reason to wake up in the morning
(4) The Next Day
(5) The Question
(6) Credits

Is Immortal
-----------
Well, at least i hope i am, cause tomorrow morning i`ll find out whether i`m going to Guinea in Africa or not, and if so i hope i`m bullet proof. how did it all start, you ponder? well, they freed Liberia (not Lybia) from the Martial Law it was under and now they are setting up a modern state, and now they are looking for importers of Diamonds and to buy electronic equipment, so i donnu, i guess i volunteered to come there.

Is Everything
-------------
To pour some content in my life, the School year started yesterday, and of course, i went to my old high school for a little political propaganda on the first day of school. so i got up at 6 o'clock in the morning just to get to school at 07:30 and find out that all the pupils come 5 minutes before the ring and that i can't actually reach them. got some political propaganda done, and went on to work, the fun part was when i came again at 12:30 and met a few of my old high school teachers, so i saw that 8 years had passed, and they are still with their petite lives and i am all grown up to look down on them (or to admire them for their ability to stand for 10 years in front of classes)

Is The Reason To Wake Up In The Morning
---------------------------------------
Short story, that will be followed by a long introduction: Friday, 11:00, my phone rings, it's Ronna, she says she's lost and can't find what to buy for her B-F, i get out of bed and decide to help. Quick_Shower; no shave, soap, Shampoo, Conditioner, Deodorant, Toothpaste, Tofu Sandwich, OJ; picking her up from Kfar saba. on the way my dear mother calls and asks me if i know about any good parties tonight; i gasp; i ask why, and she acquaints me with a friend that she met at the hairdresser that wants to go to a party; i sigh. i feel flattered and agree to call her that night, just a second before i find out some scary facts: (a) she is 29 (b) she is currently working on her M.Sc of organizational behavior (c) she is 29/// I call her at 21:15 and start to ask whether she is busy or not, she's busy! good..... she said she will call back. (first option for a quick exit). she calls. we schedule for the next day.

The Next Day
------------
We Agree to meet at 21:10 at the Yam Bar in hertzelia, and agree that the first to be there will call the other; prisoner's dilemma; i stop on the way for cash and rob a liqueur store (or just put my card in the ATM) withdraw a 100 bill, and continue. 21:07, my phone rings, i`m already out of my car and on the way to the pub. i stare at the gate, and there she was, not so bad looking, but not my style.

The Question
-------------
The first question that was raised was "what is your purpose in life?" and "why do you wake up in the morning?" both of them were responded poorly and i felt that it wasn't it, i could have cut at that moment. but no, i had to be nice, she's a friend of my mom and stuff. after 2 hours of blabbing, i escorted her to her car and drove off for my cup of beer.

Credits
-------
(1) Anyone coming to the Achziv fest? contact Ayelet for the ticket ordering.
(2) Ron - have a great time in Ireland, do not forget to bring me a whole lot of love
(3) People - start using Zilzul

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

"Not until a machine can write a Bonnet or compose a concerto because of thoughts and emotions felt, and not by the chance fall of symbols, could we agree that machine equals brain-that is, not only write it but know that it had written it. No mechanism could feel (and not merely artificially signal, an easy contrivance) pleasure at its successes, grief when its valves fuse, be warmed by flattery, be made miserable by its mistakes, be charmed by sex, be angry or depressed when it cannot get what it wants."
Professor Jefferson's Lister Oration for 1949

Posted by jk at 09:22 PM | Comments (0)

August 12, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Chair Of Contents (due to financial difficulties, the table was replaced)
---------
(1) Fifteenth of Father
(2) In Absentia
(3) Elections - More2Cum
(4) Article from Globes (copy-paste) + Hebrew Ver.
(5) Verticallization
(6) MiXn`MatcH
(7) Fade Out (Street Spirit)
(8) Exit Music (For a Film)

Fifteenth of Father
-------------------
Today is the night of TU Be'Av, better known as the fifteenth of father, the day where everybody is so happy that they have love in their lives; how bad can it be for me? (Saar - Comment nelly on the use of a semicolon, and show her where it was used) Well I woke up alone, again, showered and went to work, following a short recess for lunch with Guy Schwartz, a.k.a Muhadib. following the short lunch, in which i succeeded in staining my white Ralph Loren shirt, i went to my first meeting, which was an hour and a half too long. HOW BAD CAN THIS DAY BE? you ask, well, it doesn't sound that big of a deal; however it's the surprising feeling of being alone for the third year consecutively.

In Absentia
-----------
Is actually the current way i want to live my life, not being there and not doing anything, but it won't work, i have a big burden which cannot be lifted off me. Now, for what i wanted to say actually - Please start using our site, we need traffic. it's built well and to last, and we will award most of you with prizes (one of these days) if you participate in the contests. remember - Content-Is-Immortal

Elections - More2Cum
--------------------
The Upcoming municipal elections are getting closer, and the race is tighter; the race is just around the corner and i need your help.
Muchly needed are the following:
(a) Donations
(b) Volunteers
(c) People who want friends in high places and are willing to work for it.
(d) if you won't help me i`ll ban you.

Article from Globes (copy-paste) + Hebrew Ver.
----------------------------------------------
The English announcement will be followed by a Hebrew one

> Israelis advise bidder in $150m Iraq cellular infrastructure tender
> A major European company, represented by TDEK Consulting Associates, is participating at a conference in Amman.
> Uri Rabin 3 Aug 03 17:24
> The US and its coalition partners' civil administration in Iraq is holding a tender to build Iraq's new cellular communications infrastructure. The civil administration convened a conference in Amman, Jordan, for the companies participating in the tender to build three geographically-based cellular networks in Iraq's north, center, and southeast. Each participant must submit bids for at least two regions. The deadline for the bids is August 14.
> One participant is Jonathan Klinger of Israel's TDEK Consulting Associates. "This is a preparation conference for the tender. Scores of businesspeople from all over the world, with a focus on American representatives, are participating," Klinger told "Globes" from the Hyatt Hotel in Amman.
> TDEK is representing a client, who requested not to be named. The tender is for building a cellular infrastructure network and operating it for the first two years. The tender's organizers estimate this will be sufficient time for a full return on the investment. Klinger says the US estimated the cost of each network is $150 million, but said, "This is an underestimate, unless they're talking about a very low-quality network." Commenting on the expected revenue, Klinger said, "An 80% penetration should not be anticipated."
> In addition to accompanying its client in the Iraqi cellular tender, TDEK is negotiating on behalf of Israeli and US clients with Jordanian communications companies, including cellular providers Fastlink and MobilCom, and the main communications provider, Jordan Telecom. "These negotiations are in two parts," said Klinger. "First, installing our clients' technology with these companies, and negotiations with the Jordanian companies interested in Iraq. We see the potential there."
> ישראלי בין המתמודדות במכרז של 150 מיליון דולר לתשתית סלולרית בעיראק
> חברת תקשורת אירופית גדולה, המיוצגת על ידי ת.ד.א.ק המחזיקה יועצים ישראלים, מתמודדת על הקמת התשתית במסגרת כינוס הנערך בעמאן
>
> אורי רבין 31/07/03 14:49
> היום (ה') נערך בירדן כינוס של כל המועמדות להקמת התשתיות הסלולריות החדשות בעיראק. את הכינוס עורכת רשות הפיקוח שהקימו ארה"ב וחברותיה לקואליציה, שמנהלת את המכרז. על הפרק עומדת הקמת שלוש רשתות סלולריות בחלוקה גיאוגרפית (צפון, מרכז ודרום-מזרח), כאשר המתמודדות במכרז מחויבות לגשת למכרזי שני איזורים לפחות. המועד האחרון להגשת ההצעות הינו ה-14 באוגוסט.
>
> בין המשתתפים בכינוס נרשמה גם נציגות ישראלית: יונתן קלינגר, יועץ לענייני טכנולוגיית מידע בת.ד.א.ק (TDEK) ישראל. "מדובר בוועידת הכנה לקראת המכרז, ומשתתפים בה כמה עשרות אנשי עסקים מכל העולם, עם פוקוס לנציגים מארה"ב", דיווח קלינגר ל"גלובס" ממלון הייאט בעמאן.
>
> ת.ד.א.ק מייצגת לקוח שביקש לא להיחשף, אך המכרז מדבר על הקמת תשתית סלולרית ועל תפעול הרשת במשך השנתיים הראשונות. בזמן זה, מעריכים עורכי המכרז, יתקבל החזר מלא של ההשקעה הקמת התשתית. את עלות ההקמה, אומר קלינגר, מעריכים האמריקנים בכ-150 מיליון דולר לכל רשת, ולדבריו "זהו סכום לא הגיוני, כלפי מטה, אלא אם מדובר ברשת מאוד נחותה". לגבי הצד השני של המשוואה, צד ההכנסות, הוא מעריך ש"לא צפויים שיעורי חדירה של 80%".
>
> לאחרונה נשמעה ביקורת קשה כנגד הממשל האמריקני על עריכת המכרז הסלולרי. המבקרים תהו מדוע ממהר הממשל לצייד את העיראקים בטלפון סלולרי, בזמן שמרבית אוכלוסיית עיראק אינה נהנית מאספקה סדירה של מים, חשמל או תרופות, כאשר תשתיות התקשורת הקווית והביוב אינן תקינות וכשלאזרחים עדיין אין תחושה של ביטחון אישי. בלי להיכנס לוויכוח הזה, קלינגר מספר כי מרבית המשתתפים בכינוס דוחפים לכיוון הקמת רשתות בטכנולוגיית GSM. וזאת, למרות ההעדפה האמריקנית להקמת רשת בטכנולוגיית CDMA. כיום פועלות בעיראק ארבע רשתות סלולריות - אחת בבגדד, אחת בבצרה ושתיים באיזורי האוטונומיה הכ�

�רדית - המשרתות יחדיו כ-100 אלף מנויים. הצבא האמריקני נעזר ברשת סלולרית שהקימה עבורו MCI, ואשר משרתת 10,000 קווים. הרשת פועלת בטכנולוגיית GSM.

> "כל רשת קיימת, ניתן להניח, היא מאוד אקסקלוסיבית ופועלת רק באיזורים החשובים. לא היה טעם לפרוש תחנות בסיס בכל עיראק רק בשביל שכבת האליטה, שמנתה כמה אלפים", מסביר קלינגר.
>
> לצד ליווי הלקוח המשתתף במכרז האמריקני בעיראק, מנהלת ת.ד.א.ק מגעים בשם לקוחותיה מישראל ומארה"ב עם חברות תקשורת ירדניות, כגון ספקיות הסלולר מובילקום ופסטלינק, וספקית התקשורת המרכזית ג'ורדן טלקום.
>
> "המגעים האלה מתחלקים לשניים", הוא מפרט. "קודם כל, הטמעת הטכנולוגיות של הלקוחות שלנו באותן החברות, ומגעים עם חברות ירדניות שפונות לכיוון עיראק. אנחנו רואים את הפוטנציאל שם".
>
> ת.ד.א.ק מספקת ייעוץ אסטרטגי ופוליטי בנושאי שיווק לאיזורי אירופה ואמריקה הלטינית. החברה, שמנהלת כיום את פעילותה מארגנטינה, הוקמה ב-1987 בבוליביה כחברת ייעוץ פוליטי. ב-1995 נפתחה השלוחה הישראלית; בראשה עומדת תחיה קלינגר, ומועסקים בה ארבעה עובדים. לחברה נציגויות נוספות בגרמניה, ספרד, פולין, קוסטה-ריקה ובוליביה

Verticallization
----------------
10Pts if you know what i meant, it's actually getting a someone to be in a vertical position, getting him out of your bed, or something that rhymes with it - Head. so, in today's verticallization process i will be attempting that using some techniques, just stop me if you know the words.

MiXn`MatcH
----------
On this upcoming friday i shall be traveling to Dimona, with some ViPs, (no, not voice over IP specialists), and I'm going to be again in the newspaper or something, Yippee!. feel free to tell everyone that you know me. BTW: if they are (a) Tall (b) Dark Haired (c) Skinny (d) Vegan with (e) Small Breasts that is (f) Intelligent and (g) Doesn't gaze at things like a calf; then feel free to let me know about it.

Fade Out (Street Spirit)
------------------------
this week i got my Diners Card bill, which wasn't that big, however it was interesting, since i got 3 free meals with it, it pays to pay with your credit card. so i went on some meals with some people, having a great time (reason #1 why it is good to know and like me) each dinner was priced above 150 Nis. It is almost the end of this week's useless newsletter, and i tend to think that i am the only one reading it. however, just for people like you that read this mail, i came up with some special treats:

Exit Music (For a Film)
-----------------------
(A) Zabar - unfortunately, i will not be able to meet you in India, however nelly is there Next week.
(B) Carmi - Good luck with the wedding, still waiting for the invitation
(C) IlIl - Still owe you dinner, let me know when and where are you free and willing to meet.
(D) Shlomit - Don't 4get friday.
(E) Amir - Bring us Cig & Alc.
(F) Goni - Your papers are ready and waiting on the table.

Love, appreciation and Faith (to whomever you feel that deserves it)

---
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

---Disclaimer---
You are receiving this Email since Jonathan J. Klinger had thought that
his babbling is of your interest. should you want to stop getting his
babble, do mail him at [email protected] and he will stop
sending you any future mailings, however, doing so will insult him very much
---Disclaimer---

Article from Globes (copy-paste) + Hebrew Ver.
----------------------------------------------
The English announcement will be followed by a Hebrew one

Love, appreciation and Faith (to whomever you feel that deserves it)

---
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 06:22 AM | Comments (0)

July 31, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Table of Contents
-----------------
(1) Frustration
(2) Coma
(3) Contest #352354e
(4) Site
(5) I miss myself

Frustration
-----------
I am NOT a homeowner, my penis if fine the way it is, i do not need it erect more than it is and i especially don't need it larger, i don't have boobs to enhance and i am not in need of vitamins, i do not want to marry a russian bride and i do not need a new cellphone nor a 0% APR platinum credit card, can anyone tell it to them????

Coma
----
After spending two night W/O sleep, i am currently on the terrace of the pub in the hotel I'm staying in, drinking my beer and smoking a nargila, surfing the web on my laptop with the WiFi adapter, can life be any better? i think so, unfortunately I'm here alone, with no one to discuss my problems, frustration and needs. therefor I'm starting a new award winning contest.

Contest #352354e
----------------
People do so many things, that their feelings get so numb around the beauty that surrounds them, i want to see that beauty, the contest is to show me the beauty of life, your life, each participant should write an essay on what he loves in his life and how does he deal with his boredom. the prize, you ask? you'll find out, trust me.

Site
----
Guy (A.K.A Muhadib) and I (A.K.A Toxic) started our new website, the goal is to be the first and biggest student portal in israel and cover all of the students' needs. we are starting with an academic assignment database and would love to see you contribute, with time and money, girls and other stuff that you feel appropriate.
the address, you ask? http://www.zilzul.com

I Miss myself.
--------------
well, i think that that's all i had to say today, except the following things:
(1) Ronna - CALL ME
(2) Ayelet - promised you a long time ago, only got to it now: http://download.com.com/3120-20-0.html?qt=net+nanny&tg=dl-2001
it's the link to the porn blocker
(3) Daphna - need to find time to meet you
(4) Zabar - you'd enjoy Jordan, you should try it sometime (only now i understood i forgot to tell everyone that I'm not in israel but in Amman)
(5) Eyal - thanks for the tips regarding london
(6) Gal - I`ll be back on friday for the party, don't worry

That's it.... I think that everyone should find within himself the time for peace....
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 05:52 AM | Comments (0)

July 14, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Ingredients:
------------
(1) London - Getting There
(2) London - Having Fun
(3) London - Drug Dealing
(4) London - The Line Ride
(5) London - Travel In General
(6) Life - Living up to standards
(7) Seminary Work
(8) Music
(9) Narcotix
(10) Sex And Sovereignty
(11) Trip

London - Getting There
----------------------
Woke up last sunday morning and i decided that i have to go to London (actually, i had booked ticket a week before, after knowing that i am in need of vacation); so i took my kid brother there and rented a hotel room (Holiday Inn **** - very recommended). The flight left at 15:45, and was terrible, do not, and i repeat, do not fly Arkia even if your life depends on it, T H E Y C H A R G E F O R A L C O H O L ! ! !.
After a non intoxicating flight, i understood that flying is not fun if it is made sober, so we walked to the train station and from the train station to the hotel, i put tal to bed and took a short walk to the nearest pub.

London - Having Fun
--------------------
It was a rather standard English pub, the time was half past ten at night, and it was in the process of making the customers go so they could close, i went to the cigarette vending machine, in hope to pay a pound or two for a pack of 20, however, i found myself paying 4.60 for 16 cigs, apparently they sell them in a 16 pack (is that a dozen and a third?) in vending machines to make more profit. that was the only piece of smokes i bought in this whole trip (besides the Cuban for Talmish)
However, after passing 6 nights in different pubs, which in all of them i drank Guinness and only Guinness, i started to see things a little clearer. (one might say the opposite, but it does comply)

London - Drug Dealing
---------------------
Well, i'll skip forward all the walks i made and all the fine music i listened to in order to tell you a bit about the party i was in on friday. the place was called "Fabric" (www.fabriclondon.com) and it's a 3 story club, in two there was RnB, but the third was DrumN'Bass, and the best kind of, so i went down to the basement floor. it was real big (and empty when i came there) so i sat in one of the corners and drank my Red Bull (4th for the day); after i finished my drink i went to the Johns in order to do my needs. on the way to the Johns i encountered a big Afro-English (or how do you say it PCed?) who asked me in a nice manner (and i do mean nice, I'm not kidding) whether i have any pills. i gently said i don't (after looking in my pockets, i could have made a whole lot of money that way) and after realizing i don't know how do the pills look like or even how much to charge for one, i moved on. afterward, every minute or so someone else came to me and asked me. the thing i noticed, however, is that I'm not the only one who is approached that way but I'm the only one who isn't making any money out of it, at last, my plan was complete, next time I'm there, i`ll sell Advils for 50 pounds a piece.

London - The Line Ride
----------------------
I reckon it was friday morning, but I'm not sure, when my brother wanted to see "British Airways' London Eye", so it was. we took the tube to Waterloo station and walked a few meters, then came to a complete stop, i was astound by the people there standing in line, it was like the "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls" episode in South Park (Season II). there was a line to buy ticket, which after you bought you had so stand in a different line, to get the ticket checked, and after the ticket was checked you had to stand in a line for the ride, which led to another line, to get on the ride itself, all and all i stood in line 1.5 hours for a 27 minute ride. i think that for 10 pounds, the whole line experience is ok....

London - Travel In General
--------------------------
After a week without a car, i came to some conclusions regarding mass transportation, the first and most important is that if mass transportation is to be executed in israel, there must be a compulsory hygiene class in school, teaching people to use deodorant. the only good thing about the tube is that it's cheap, fast and is full of hot english chicks, if it was with drinks, you could have called it a club, easily.

Life - Living up to standards
-----------------------------
Well, that's the living up to standards, to sum up london, it was fun, i didn't meet any interesting people or had life defying experiences, but it was fun, strict fun, a week without any email is good. i rested, and got to know my kid brother, which i never had time for, since when he grew up i was a teenager and only wanted to play my guitar (very different from now, when I'm an adult and all i want to do is play my guitar).

Seminary Work
-------------
The good thing is i got to finish my seminary work, all f**king 30 pages of it. i read like 3000 pages, but it is at last complete and i can submit it and finally be eligible for my degree. i know that I'm finishing it in a year or so, but i need to submit this ASAP for a grade in research assignments.

Music
-----
Took my kid brother to a concert (not really big) of a jazz band, inside a coffee shop, it was so nice, to bad he got sick of the music and wanted to go after an hour. the only thing i learned from the show is not to drink ginger beer, it's not tasty.

Narcotix
--------
You ask how my narcotic seminar worked out? well, i think it was okay, not that bad, but it needs to be re-furbished, so if any one of you is interested in coming with us for a trip up north (or down south) for 2 days and one night, please let me know, sleeping bags and tents recommended. musical instruments are allowed and welcome.

Sex And Sovereignty
-------------------
Fact: (not really interesting, but yet, a fact) Jonathan Klinger had yet to experience sex outside the boundaries of Israel, meaning that I'm an offshore virgin or something, meaning that if i do not get any the next time i am abroad i shall be really depressed, BTW: any one of the Gals is "coming" with me the next time I'm flying? :-?

Trip
----
As this is the last segment for this one, i want to thank every one that got until this part and read the whole way through. you will be rewarded in the afterlife. the following messages need to be spread:
(1) A stupid person had erased all of the memory and pictures on my phone, so if all of you that haven't spoken to me this week could send me their # (and possibly pics). don't feel bad if i don't call you, it's just that i don't have your number.
(2) Anyone interested in making a big money and has an idea, please let me know, i want in.
(3) if anyone knows how to print counterfeit money, do let me know as well.
(4) If you don't read these mail and just delete them, let me know so i will erase you from the list, it really is just because i don't have time to talk to everyone in the world.

Love you all, Please do not have anal sex, as it causes anal infirmity.
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 01:30 AM | Comments (0)

June 17, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Table Of Contents (my table is out of context)
----------------------------------------------
(1) Sex Outside The City
(2) 7/8
(3) Formalities, People?
(4) Narcotics Seminar
(5) Party NE1
(6) G.Z and his Tact
(7) Happiness In Slavery
(8) I-A W/S
(9) Advertisement, People, Need to make a few $$$
(10) Politics
(11) And Now For Something Completely Different

Sex outside the city
--------------------
None this week actually, or anytime in the near future, but nevermind; that's not the point. the point is that on July 10th i shall be departing to London for a couple of weeks, so if any of you plan to be there between July 10th and 24th, do let me know, i will have some facilities (I'm flying partially for work and partially for pleasure) like an office, hotel room and etc. the whole problem is that i need to baby-sit my kid brother while I'm there, so if any of you have any ideas as regarding what to do with an 11 year old in london (thought of taking him to brixton and letting him smoke, but that's too mean) that does not include alcohol and/or narcotics and/or staying up until late, let me know.

7/8
---
Had a great day yesterday, it began around noon time when i woke up (yes, i had the privilege to wake up around noon!!!!) and started to study for my test (which was today), after about 2-3 hours, i went to my parents house to see Guy, my kid brother (5 yrs old) which was kind of sick the day before, and to print out 50 more pages for the test. afterwards i went to the Mo`adonit and from there i took Anat and went to "Shvua Hasefer" where Nelly works. anyways, that's not my point, so the point is that i wrote a song the day before yesterday in 7/8, the chords are kind of complex, but i want to record it, it's really somewhat of a very complicated song with a very simple feel to it, so i need as much of you people as possible to put yourselves in.

Formalities, People?
---------------------
After functioning as a human typewriter in school for more than 2.5 years, i finally got my accreditation, in one of our courses, the Lecturer said "Please note that the material for the test is Jonathan's Notebook" of course, she got my name wrong, i wanted to kill her. but i wouldn't do so, it is kind of illegal.

Narcotics Seminar
-----------------
Well, my last test is on July 1st, and my flight is only on July 10th, meaning that there are 9 days in between to celebrate, what do we have to celebrate you ask? well, both Koch and Saar have birthdays, and i believe that at least Koch will be in the same position as me, that's why I'm inviting people for a Narcotics seminar to be held from 1/7/3 to 9/7/3, place is yet unknown. purpose - to forget we had school. what do we need? Beers, Vodka, Coffee, etc. I'd rather we do it outside (See George Michael's song) but nevermind, you decide.

Party, NE1?
-----------
Well, it's summertime, and we need to start producing parties, going out and stuff, mind you, the time is 23:39 and i am at home writing this log instead of drinking. Saar + Koch, it's your birthdays, don't expect a surprise party.

G.Z and his Tact
----------------
Extracted from Guy Zabar's letter to his friends:
"jhon:realy hapy 4 u ,start masterbating intensivly - thats the next step( tray it with alcohol it helps)"
[for those of us who did not understand, i used an electronic decrypter and got the following result]
"John: Really happy for you, start masturbating intensively - that's the next step (try it with alcohol - it helps"
Guy - Please note, that inspite the fact that i am happy, and that i love you very much, i would like to you to refer to the following Errs (not only the grammar and/or spelling!)
(1) My name is Jonathan, that is my birthname, if you want it shorter, you can call me Jon, if you want to nick me, you can use any nick you want. John with an "H" is Johan, but even if that was my name it was still misspelled.
(2) When you write things that concern personal acts within one's bedroom - either sex or masturbation, please try to send it as a personal message and not as one addressed to various people, including (but not only) your ex-girlfriend, your friends (who do not know me), your brother (who knows me for more than 23 years) and other people who know me.
(3) One of the most important courses that i will sign you up once you get to College is "Cryptography" so you can understand what do i have to undergo in order to understand what you wanted.
(4) Masturbating with alcohol is a big pain, you should know, some of your shampoos contained some.
(5) All is done with real love, you know how much i love and care for you and consider you as a best friend. however, i was quite upset.

Happiness in Slavery
--------------------
I think it says it all, but in case you didn't get it - when you are so busy and don't have time for yourself, i think you could be happier. that's the false happiness in life, after continuing with the meditation, i got to my real happiness, and it was afterwards followed by the much needed sadness.

I-A W/S
-------
(Inter Active Web Site) - I want to put up a web site with everyone's shit, meaning, please people, help me. i write my newsletter, but i know you all have what to rant on and who to diss, i want a big site that people can post to. (I have the hosting, that's not the problem)

Advertisement, People, need to make a few $$$
--------------------------------------------
My favorite station currently is called "Super Slut Radio" and has some of the best music available on the web, you can tune in with your winamp at ShoutCast.com. please do!

Politics
--------
well, I got nominated #5 at the Meretz municipality for Ramat Hasharon, please people, vote for me! you know i am good for it, and as i said, it's all a big part for my world domination plan, and since you know me, i would cut you a slack.

And now for something completely different
------------------------------------------
Credits - Notes - Messages
(1) Daphna - good to see you back, sorry i didn't have the time to see you this week, but you can drop over anytime, and feel free to harass me.
(2) Zabar - hope you didn't take it the wrong way.
(3) Schwartz - HPM-10, 40$ - remember (+ MMC) i`ll pay you back
(4) Amir - we all are happy for us, should we address you as Dr. Amit from now on?
(5) Yoav - next time you go for a week in sweden let me know.

That's all, Love you people, keep on doing what you do since i think that's why i actually like you and resent all the other people in this world.
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 09:58 AM | Comments (0)

June 06, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Table Of Contents:

(1) The Party
(1a) The Date for The Party and the problem with her
(2) The Flight
(3) The Long Train
(4) The Fun
(5) The Long Train Back
(6) The Flight Back
(7) Time Of The Season

The Party
---------
Well, two weeks ago i got a call from my mom saying that she's having a party for Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, and that I (+date) am invited. i must say it was such a cool party, there were so many celebrities and politicians. and we got an article in the newspaper about it (as well as an item in Guy P.e.n.i.s.

The Date for The Party and the problem with her
-----------------------------------------------
Since i needed someone to come to the party with me, and i am still by myself, i called up Shlomit (from school) which is kind of a smart and good looking girl, which is what most people will find attractive. i on the other hand, like her very much, but am not attracted to her. So i took Shlomps with me, and my parents really liked her (they thought she was my Girlfriend or something) but that wasn't the problem, the problem is that my grandma (which is kind of in a pressure for great-grandkids) asked me something like "Shlomit is such a nice girl, why don't you date her", and when i tried telling her I'm not attracted to her she didn't get it. but nevermind, Shlomps totally fell in love with Guy and Tal, my young brothers and wants to adopt them. i offered them to her for free. so anyways, when I'm flying to london with Tal (in a month, for two weeks) she might join us, that's good for me, i won't be alone. but i donnu. guess i just have no point

The Flight
----------
Thursday, a week ago, i get a call in the morning (right after the party) asking me whether i want to stay the weekend in frankfurt or not (i had to be there friday morning anyway for a client) and i thought about it. i said "why the hell not" and departed to Frankfurt with one thought on my mind, to take a weekend in Amsterdam, relax and party. my flight left on friday 4am, meaning i didn't sleep on thursday and was dead on friday's meetings.

The Long Train
--------------
After fighting with myself in order to be awake, i took the 1715 train from frankfurt to amsterdam, the only problem was that in order to get back to my sunday morning flight on time, i have to take the train back on saturday evening, and be back by 2300 in frankfurt, while my flight leaves on 11:15 - meaning 12 more hours to spend. i went on the train and couldn't sleep, too much caffeine..... the air condition in the train was broken, so i sweated all the way to amsterdam, and passed half the time in conversation with elderly men and random terrorists. when we crossed the Netherlands border, passport control went on the train and asked for our passports - well, that's not a big deal, but the problem is that the two people behind me were arabs, and spoke arabic to the guy, and when i took out my passport he said "Ma Nishma" in order to be nice, but he didn't realize the mistake he had made. from that point on i feared for my life, i couldn't go and run, and i couldn't sleep. so i stayed awake and tried not to look at them. from that point onward, everything sounded like "Jihad Jihad" to me, i was so afraid. and then they went off the train in Utrecht.

The Fun
-------
Got out of the train in amsterdam central, Smoked a lot of White Widow, talked with nice people, that's about it i think... no sleep, not too much food. nothing big, my conclusion - Don't go to amsterdam alone, it's a waste of time when you can get back to israel and stay in your bed. [please note the attached picture]

The Train Back
--------------
Actually had air conditioning, but that wasn't the fun part. i sat down in the "Non-Non-Smoking" cabin so i was with some other tourists, and had who to talk to, met some people, had some fun, didn't sleep, couldn't sleep. i got to Frankfurt central around 23:00 and didn't have where to sleep (the hotel in the airport is 200Euro/night) no i stayed up most of the time chatting in the iCQ with people, the remaining time was spend on benches, trying to fall asleep. around 0600 i got out of my bench and looked for where to have breakfast. couldn't eat. waited for my flight.

The Flight Back
---------------
I was seated between two people - one who snored and the other puked all the way, so i was really sick, but all was okay, i landed in Ben-Gurion at 1550 and drove straight to the Mo`adonit, to teach.

Notices:
--------
(1) Daphna - Good to see you back, let me know when you land.
(2) Zabar - You got in to Reichman, i am still waiting for you to write something
(3) Amir - Miss you, and if you're not coming this summer, let us know, so maybe we can come over (if we have the time and money)
(4) Schwartz - Samesame. heard about your guitar, are you bringing it with you back?

Have fun, don't look back.

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Posted by jk at 02:10 AM | Comments (0)

May 24, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

** Do Not Delete This Mail** it has relevant information that might get you a handful of money!!!

This Week On The Newsletter:
1. A Long Needed Happiness
2. Happiness Is A Warm Gun
3. Pastoralic Noon
4. Its The End Of The
5. The Coolest Party Of The Year
6. Mental Notes

A Long Needed Happiness
-----------------------
After a long time that i had not felt this feeling, i suddenly felt happy yesterday. it all began around wednesday, when i was sitting with Ron at the Yam-Bar and sipping beer, and we talked a-lot, and then i decided i need to re-start meditating, so i made up my mind and started meditating every morning for half an hour. yes, i know, it's only been two days, but already i feel better, and the world treats me better. so this newsletter is not going to be as grumpy as usual, please bear with me.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun
-----------------------
Or so the beatles said a few decades ago, but I'm not going to let it get to me, i will not turn my happiness into something different. I started thinking about re-routing my happiness for good deeds to do, well, and if you have any ideas of what i can do as a happy person, you are more than welcome to submit them to the staff ([email protected]).

Pastoralic Noon
---------------
Wednesday was a good day indeed, not only my new resolutions, i got to school an hour early, and on my way to park the car, a freshman that i know came close and said something like "hello" so i took her out with me for coffee, and still made it in time for class. after talking to her about her life, i realized how full life can be, and how empty your life can be when you are not creative (if you didn't get it by now, she was really boring) so instead of doing the decent thing and having sex with her, i dropped her off by her car and went to class, which was actually nice.

It's The End Of The
-------------------
Schoolyear as we know it, and i feel more than fine, after two years of continuos studying without any breaks, i finally can take a break, i will personally accept any ideas for what to do between July 1st and September 20th. (will be explained later why not until October 14th). if you have any ideas, again ([email protected])

The Coolest Party In The World
------------------------------
Is taking place on september 21st, and i am a part of the organizing team. it may sound a tad boring, but wait a minute. it's Shimon Peres' 80th Birthday, well, that's nothing, but the guest list has people like Stephan Speilberg, Woody Allen, Mick Jagger, Quincy Jones, Bill Clinton and others, and i am partially in charge of some of the production, so people ~ ~ ~ this will be the party of the year, think about the people, not the subject.

Mental Notes:
-------------
(1) Daphna - Good to see that you are coming back, i really miss you - don't forget to buy me presents....
(2) Zabar - I checked with the "Rishum" and they don't have any results yet, i`ll let you know again next week.
(3) Ronna - this sunday the Mo`adonit is closed, so lemme know if you can come w/me on tuesday.
(4) Schwartz - Make a sound, call, say something. BTW: met your sis and she said you are about to come, is that true?
(5) Oren - we all are holding fingers for you and your family

Love you all,
and don't forget - what you give is what comes back to ya.

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

"Not until a machine can write a Bonnet or compose a concerto because of thoughts and emotions felt, and not by the chance fall of symbols, could we agree that machine equals brain-that is, not only write it but know that it had written it. No mechanism could feel (and not merely artificially signal, an easy contrivance) pleasure at its successes, grief when its valves fuse, be warmed by flattery, be made miserable by its mistakes, be charmed by sex, be angry or depressed when it cannot get what it wants."
Professor Jefferson's Lister Oration for 1949

Posted by jk at 09:03 AM | Comments (0)

May 02, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

This Week On The Newsletter:
1. Summertime
2. Sex, Drugs and Rockn'Roll
3. Pubes, You say?
4. That Unfortunate Mishap
5. Who Stole All My Clothes?
6. Evil Incorporated
7. End Credits

Summertime
----------
It Finally hit me, it's summer all over again and people started going to the beach and wear all these awful clothes that reveal all that they ate during the winter months. besides, it's getting a bit hot outside, don't you think? anyways, enough about the weather, let's get to business...

Sex, Drugs and Rockn'Roll
-------------------------
Well, A Lot has happened since the last time i wrote (you ask how does that relate to the subject) one of the most important things (that i am sure you all know) is that Itai was arrested for raping a 10 year old and a 9 year old (s.e.x), I got back to caffeine (d.r.u.g.s) and we started to play more every since Yoav came back and Oran started to have some free time. (R&R) and i would really like to arrange a big jam session sometime in a park or something so we can play loud and late (ever since we moved to the new apartment, we can make much noise, we have Keren sleeping beneath us)

Pubes, You say?
---------------
Hopefully, and with the grace of god, I shall be traveling to Denmark next week for a peace conference with Arabs from Jordan, Egypt and Palestine, this will probably be one of the biggest things i'll do this year - actually sign a joint venture peace agreement. so in respect of that, next friday (if I'm there) i want you all to dye your pubes purple. (or you can just say you did, and lie...)

That Unfortunate Mishap
------------------------
Was lost and i cannot recall what happened that night, so if i hurt any of you people , I'm sorry.

Who Stole All My Clothes?
-------------------------
[This is a personal message to Mr. Guy "Muhadib" Schwartz]
Dear Guy,
Some long weeks have passed since you last called us in the middle of the night to tell us about your interesting real estate business in the united states, tell us about your relations with major porn stars and various celebrities. WE DO MISS YOU. please come over for the summer so we have someone to entertain, this time we won't go to school, promise.... we actually have a hole in our lives. and by the way, you need to meet saar's new girlfriend.

Evil Incorporated
-----------------
After long discussions with Amir, Saar, Oran and Meir, I've decided that we should establish a company altogether in order to make money and spend it on alcohol and computer games. for that instance i wanted to know what do you think about the following options:
[1] Robbing Banks
[2] Opening up a Pub
[3] Becoming professional hitmen
[4] Starting a computer game company
[5] Starting a Rock band and being real famous

Do let me know.

End Credits
-----------
Me....

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

"Not until a machine can write a Bonnet or compose a concerto because of thoughts and emotions felt, and not by the chance fall of symbols, could we agree that machine equals brain-that is, not only write it but know that it had written it. No mechanism could feel (and not merely artificially signal, an easy contrivance) pleasure at its successes, grief when its valves fuse, be warmed by flattery, be made miserable by its mistakes, be charmed by sex, be angry or depressed when it cannot get what it wants."
Professor Jefferson's Lister Oration for 1949

Posted by jk at 03:17 AM | Comments (0)

March 20, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

The Gan Shula Newsletter staff wish to apologize to whom they may offend in this email, and endorse you to opt-out at: [email protected]

I had noticed that you people don't read my mail, so i decided to make a contest (with prizes), at the end of the letter there will be some questions. answer them correctly and get in the raffle.

War, No War?
------------
What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. the united states had waged war on Iraq, without the consent of any other country. that's only the beginning. so i decided to write about the good stuff that might rise from this war.

First Of All
------------
My theory is (and unfortunately is not widely adopted) that France and Germany would not be able to withstand the United States' violence and constant minding in other countries' sovereignty and independence. they will have to act and wage war on the united states, meaning - WWIII. and as Amir always says, i don't know what weapons will be used in WWIII, but WWiX will have to be fought with sticks and stones.

Secondly,
---------
When war would be waged against the US, dollar rates will go lower, making my rent funny (when 310$ will become 200Nis???) meaning that i can start living the good life!

Last of all,
------------
American people will finally have to deal with their problems and come back to their original countries, leaving the United States to the indians.... (hint hint - Guy Schwartz)

Enough War4a Day
----------------
I shall continue with my attempt to bore you. I got another job as a research assistant to one of the doctors in my college (not a physical doctor - MD, but a doctor of legal philosophy), actually most of the job is printing for him, but i get to write really important papers and stuff about legal theories of marriage (they are bad!!!) and theological aspects of the law.

BoomBaMela
----------
Is coming up people, 17th of April. i want a list of who's coming and with who so we can arrange a big time orgy. well, not really..... we just want to buy all the stuff together so we can save money, and see what equipment do we have (BTW: Daphna, 10x4the tent). there are some good news regarding the participants, but I'm not sure i am at liberty to say, so in the meantime mind you that we shall be accompanied by various GOOD people.

SexLife and The City
--------------------
I knew it would catch your eye, but actually there aren't any. so i`ll just have to spend another (year) by myself. people, it's okay that all of you are getting married and stuff, just don't forget me, i can be the last one who can arrange a bachelor party. (BTW: I will be a Bachelor of Law in a year).

Asynchronic Digital Subscriber Line
-----------------------------------
Or shortly aDSL, is a signaling method used to download major amounts of pornography, music and video. we have obtained such line in order to do so, and have enlarged (our penis) our video collection and MP3 collection, so all of you can Njoy.

Requests:
---------
(1) Schwartz - i sent you a URL yesterday, they offer free flights to israel, i really think that in these troubled times you should be here
(2)Amir - I need a paragraph explaining what you need to do, actually a CV of a paragraph, something like: Amir Amit, BSc, is a prominent computer engineer who has more than 15 years of experience with complex computing systems and had written a part of the LiNUx kernel, amir likes to have sex with little girls and to practice ninjistu.
(3) Oran - Find out about good parties for next week, i might (and you can print this) come with you if there is a good one.
(4) Keren - BUY A COMPUTER

Well, here we go, the questions:
(1) What does aDSL stand for?
(2) Who did the US wage war on?
(3) Who do i want to wage war on the US?
(4) What did i do to get your attention?

Love, Hate and all the other feelings that make you think of me.....
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 07:39 AM | Comments (0)

February 26, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Forgive me father, for i have sinned, it has been 20 days since i had last wrote my friends and harassed them with my nonsense. so here goes:

Looking for Mr. Schwartz, Mr. Guy Schwartz
--------------0------------------0--------
Have any one of you people heard from Mr. Guy Schwartz, our late West-Side promoter? he has been last seen with two playmates on Sunset Blvd wearing a black tox. I'm still in hunger for my Rusty-Haired friend and wish to tell him that we miss him, however, our grief is covered with the happiness of having a NordLead.....
Please contact, call, say you miss us?

Amir Go Bybye?
--------------
Our faithful follower, Amir P. Amit; more known as "Paranoid?" has departed from our lovely state and is now in a world blessed with joy. however, we may all be meeting him on this world, when we have time to go to Australia.

Bless The Child....It's a?
--------------------------
I had to lecture for my class on Catho(ho)lic Marriages, so i started research and stuff, did my lecture and now the good part is that my teacher talked about me with his TA and stuff, I'm going to be famous!!!

It's The End Of The World as We Know It
---------------------------------------
And I feel fine; or do I? yep, well, now we have hooked our computer with our PC, and set up a DiVx Player to show our prime collection of lovely movies to see whenever we need. you are all invited; do join?

Any Requests?
-------------
(1) Amir - Scan the pics and email me (please?)
(2) Daphna - It's been a while, what have you been up to with Roy in the last month or so?
(3) Yoavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv - Saar said something about you coming back in a month or so, it that corrects?
(4) Ronna - Please call me when you have 5 minutes, need to ask your opinion in stuff
(5) Koch - You are the Man!!!!

Love you all, Take care?
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 06:37 AM | Comments (0)

January 29, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter, Extended Special Edition

Again, I urge you, if you do not like me annoying you with very long letters in foreign languages, please do not read this and just say no!

"Everybody knows that the dice are loaded;
everybody rolls with their fingers crossed;
everybody knows that the war is over;
everybody know the good guys lost;
everybody knows the fight was fixed;
the poor stay poor, the rich get rich;
that's how it goes - and everybody knows"
(Leonard Cohen)

Well, we lost today, but fear not, i did not take this personally since i am only partly responsible. bear in mind that i am writing this letter after being deprived of sleep for more than 50 hours, and after counting votes, putting up signs and baby-sitting many many youngsters who decided to support meretz by volunteering.....

First things first
------------------
Well, after doing everything but swallow in the last few days in the meretz branch, i've decided the following decision for this upcoming year. I understood how much money is being spent poorly on stupid things and i shall elaborate and see whether you can help me.

Woke up (after 1 hour of sleep 0500-0600) and went to the shower, then to vote and to the branch. i started by sticking posters and etc. all around town (after yesterday i attached the sheep to the electricity poles) so i was quite tired. then came the good stuff. around five o'clock in the afternoon i had to stand in position in morsha, ramat hasharon and see that all is going well, i stood outside the school with a few 14 year old shas supporters. i decided i have to do stuff that matter and not just hand out leaflets. i started to talk with the darn kids and asked about their life and stuff. after an hour or so we started to talk about the army, and all of them said that they will not enlist. i myself asked them why, and they gave me the obvious answer that by praying (or is it preying, i don't really remember what is it that ultra-orthodox people do....) they shall save our sacred country. so then came my obvious next question, if i would have been as ultra-orthodox as they are, and prayed, and so will all of the other people, like they want to - what would happen to the country, who will guard it, the again obvious answer arose, that the almighty god (in which i have no faith nor belief) shall save us. after a few more minutes of discussion, i got to the important part. i persuaded one of them to think about (and he looked like he is really going to) joining the army. moreover, the real important part was that we continued to discuss issues and i understood the real problem (IMHO)

after looking at the results of the poles tonight, i decided that the only way to really change stuff is by really doing, meaning draft more people in to doing what i believe in, which is social and political justice. so i decided that if i would get the proper assistance, i will be starting a summer camp for the kids of morasha, it is currently under an accelerated orthodoxation stage (i think that i had just invented a new word); this had happened due to several factors, which are irrelevant to my issue here. the socio-economic state of the people there is terrible and most kids are highly influenced by either religion or shas. i am looking for people who would be able to assist me with anything (educational programme, guidance, donations, and/or anything else) the whole idea is to show the people in the neighborhood that Shas is not the only way, not by blocking shas, but by providing a new alternative that could lead the way for a major change. i think that we need to start where we have much information about (out of 406 voters that i counted today, 143 voted for Shas and 146 for the Likud in morasha) and since it is close but still in need for help.
I think that this pilot project could be a new beginning for many people and even contribute to the look of the neighborhood (which currently looks like a "Maabara" in some parts) and if we can do what we did in Dor-Shalom (go in houses and renovate and stuff) we can even make the place better.
Please help me with whatever you can, please?

Besides that,
(1) Shinuy deserves my respeck (not a typo) for what they achieved (even though i don't agree with what they say)
(2) People - My birthday is coming up (next monday) and i have yet to receive my presents (a tall, skinny, smart vegan with small breasts and w/o a gaze of a calf would do - i also wish for world peace)
(3) Love you all.
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 12:06 PM | Comments (0)

January 22, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

New Room/New Life?
------------------
Well, we moved in our new apartment, and it is real real real big. i got a new room, with my own private bathroom and walk-in closet. i put my bar in the living room and started to fix everything in it. it really feels like a house and i like it. i can live with that feeling for a long time.

Semester Break
--------------
(if you can call it like it) I started my semester's break (and the obvious tests that are attached to it) and therefore have so little time to do what i want, and so much time has to be dedicated to other stuff. please do not feel bad if i have so little time i cannot call or return calls or stuff. you can always email me and get a response in under 48 hours, i promise

Roommate
-------
Meir and I are still looking for another roommate to stay in the extra room (which is currently occupied by Saar, that decided that until we have a paying roommate he is staying there) and we are willing to settle. we just need someone who is able to live with our psychosomatic problems and is willing to participate in the rent. do let me know if you know someone who is willing to do so.

Elections
---------
Depending on the weather, the election day BBQ will be held either at Tal's garden or in our apartment. again - Poker and alcohol (and dead animals if you like them). please participate.

My upcoming Birthday
--------------------
Well, since i know that most of you will either not remember it or just won't be here to celebrate with me, i decided to put out a list of possible presents that i am _willing_ to accept, any list present outside this list might be ignored and could be used against you. the following items are approved by me:
(1) Girl - Tall, Slim, Smart, Vegan with small breasts, a higher priority to Anorexic Black haired girls who know how to play the piano
(2) World Peace/World Domination - but not both
(3) Mini-Bar for my Bar.
(4) Alcoholic Beverages:
4.1 Whiskey - either Dimple or anything which begins with Glen
4.2 Vodka - Finlandia/Absolut/Danska ONLY
4.3 Rum - Only Havana Club or Bacardi
4.4 Gin - Gordon's or Bombay Sapphire
4.5 Tequila - Cuervo Gold only.
4.6 Absinthe
4.7 AfterShock
(5) Recreational Equipment
(6) Handcrafted presents (with higher priority than 3-5) since i do not really like presents that cost money. [long story, began when on my 16th birthday my girlfriend bought me a CD]
Anyways, i think i shall be holding a party and stuff the week after the next week, we'll see how it goes and keep you updated on the date and time. hope you could all be there.

Until next time,
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)

January 09, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter, Extended Special Edition

-THIS IS NOT SPAM, It's just my opinion-
Dear Friends,

I am writing this special extended edition of the Gan-Shula Newsletter and addressing it to many people who are not regular readers of this newsletter only because of it's great importance to our future. I would appreciate it if you spammed the net with what i had to say and make it a big f**king chain letter, so every person could get my pearls of wisdom.
this special edition is dedicated to the upcoming elections in israel. i know that most of you had already made up your minds regarding what and who to vote for, however, after viewing the propaganda on TV for two days, i had decided i have things to say. here goes - Don't love me for it, don't hate me for it. just keep it in the back of your heads when you go and cast your vote, and more important, when you talk to other people.

First things first, The "Ichud Haleumi"
---------------------------------------
Well, despite my appreciation to Yariv Ben-Eliezer, and moreover to his grandfather, i shall write my criticism and be more than offensive -
(1) Have you noticed that Arye Eldar, former Chief Officer of the Medical Core in the IDF, has the physical characteristics of a sex-maniac? meaning, he twitches and moves like one, and has this sick perverted look in his eyes.
(2) Moreover, why couldn't he learned his text? do we have to see him pausing for a second and reading it off the teleprompter?
(3) Esterika? who is she, and in what porn movies did she play in the 70s? she looks like her husband (possibly Arye Eldar) is a plastic surgeon, if not, she had to pay too much money for her cosmetic treatments.
(4) "We trust in Liberman"? first things first, Liber - German for PIG, Man - you know... well, is he the "Pig-Man" or is he not? can i trust a person who hits little kids to represent me? regardless of my political opinions....
(5) While watching an interview with liberman in a moving car, you can notice that he is not wearing his seat belt, did someone forget? or did the impact of the new advertisement was not as effective on Liberman as on other people??

Mafdal (Bet)
------------
Efi Eitam, a self-proclaimed Messiah and a known right wing activist, is leading a party with the most honest people in our parliament, however, they fail to present them, while showing his decorations in the military and presenting the Mafdal as the last post to protect israel as a Jewish state. I myself am not a potential voter of the Mafdal, however, they seem to be one of the last ideological parties in our beloved parliament, or at least were, until he came. As for my impressions:
(1) Apparently, they had the same copywriters as Cellcom - notice the similarity between their Jingle and Cellcom's "Bishvily Hakochav Ze Ata"
(2) Where are all the Dos-Chicks, dancing and prancing to Wo-Oh-Wo-Oh-Wo-Oh-Ay-Ya-Ya-Yay??? i miss them from the 92' elections?
(3) What will you be doing with the downfall of israel's economy? are there any ideas? we care a lot!

Meretz
------
Well, you all are aware of who shall i be voting for these elections, however, it will not be because of their charming campaign (has anyone ever compared a campaign in WarCraft or Dune to a political campaign?), the following things have yet to ease my mind!
(1) "Navi Ota BeTzedek Hevrati Ahoti" ? is this a way to treat the great problem of social injustice in israel? wouldn't it be more appropriate to say something about it? i know meretz wants to look young, fresh and spunky, however, this is a total parody...
(2) The Music? can't we be a little more focused on our audience (audience - audio!)
(3) Passing 20 social laws does not make you a good party! passing no laws and legalizing things will! it is not the amount of laws you pass, it's the content you put in to them!

Ale-Yarok
---------
If it wasn't sad it could have been funny..... A party trying to get into our parliament, with only one issue. well, i read their manifest, and it's not only that. they have other important matter which they discuss. HOWEVER - their ads do not. the ad begins with a "knock-knock" "who's there?" "police, open up!" and then gets all creepy..... well, as for their campaign manager, i am sure he was good, until he started smoking..... another problem - the ads ends with - "There is a demonstration, On the 28th, DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR ID" i think they learned a lesson from the last time where everyone was so stoned they couldn't remember to bring an ID for the Elections

Shas
----
The ad today began with Eli Yishai complaining about the immigration from the former USSR, i would have been insulted if i was an immigrant, i take the permission to be insulted on their behalf. but, some things have changed since 1999 - Beni Elbaz, my beloved soul singer did not participate in this campaign and i had no possibility to hear him sing "Hu Zakai" again. too bad. could it be the beginning of the end? Nahh....

Shinuy
------
The closest thing to not voting is shinuy, and you could see it in their ads, they start with "are you tired of all the other parties being corrupt?" etc etc. the other funny thing is that their ad features a Computer-Game animation of a "Shinuy" Figure fighting arrows from religion, Miluyim, Taxes and etc. they offer to lower taxes, how can a party who had not participated in the government for the last 6 years offer that? they do not know how to handle coalitional pressure.

Adovda
------
Well, they could have ridden the wave of corruption in the Likud, and go out with a positive campaign for Mitzna, since, NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR MORE ABOUT OMRI SHARON AND ALPERON! however, they failed to do so. on other matters, they do present Mitzna in uniform, looking similar to Fidel Castro, could they have used it in a positive way???

Likud?
------
Well, I Believe that they, as the biggest party after the elections, have to start saying what will they do and not to start mocking Mitzna (and the entire Avoda)'s lack of experience. they could have started to use their time in order to make some things.

Heirut
------
This word, as you all know stands for "Freedom", well, besides offering the Israelites from an Arab origin a bus pass to Jordan he did everything! Michael Kleiner (in german - Smaller) started to speak about the growth rate of arabs in israel, and explained that its either "them" or "us" (i don't know where i would like to be more, with Kleiner in the same room or with Azmi Bshara. Actually i do know, with Azmi, since he won't try to kill me since i don't have blue eyes and blonde hair - well, wait a minute, i do have blue eyes....) Kleiner started to speak about migrating (not transferring) the arabs to close near by states.

Hadash
------
This party, which actually i feel for start their campaign with two different shoots - one in an israeli cemetery and one in a palestinian one. showing that we are all the same. nice idea, the only problem is that it looks like a part from a Egyptian film, where any minute the girl will commit suicide on the friends' grave.....

Please think about what and who will you vote for, please....
All the others are not as important, so i fail to see why to bother you with them.
-THIS IS NOT SPAM-
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]
ICQ# : 28586277

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 06:53 AM | Comments (0)

December 25, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Feeling Sick
------------
Well - the conclusion of my experience of last night is not to eat chinese any more. We ordered from China-Town yesterday after all of us were hungry, i ate noodles with Tofu and rice, nothing special. after dinner i felt a little sick and went to my room for a short nap. I woke up at 1:35 and went to puke myself in the toilet. after that i went to sleep again, and then woke up at 2:46, puked again, only to go back to the toilet and wake up at 4 in the morning back there. i am now in the library feeling really bad and wishing i would have died last night.

New Apartment
-------------
We are looking for a new roommate, to our new big apartment. i attach a qualification questionnaire for it. please fill out and let me know if you are interested. application can be filled and sent to me until january 4th.

Qualification Exam for an additional roommate:
Name:______ Gender:_____ Age:________
FWI: The Rent is 630 US$/Month, and the additional bills will be around 700 Nis/Month. Please take this into consideration.
Have you ever lived outside your parents house? (Y/N)
Did you work to pay for it? (Y/N)
Are you willing to assist in rent and other payments? (Y/N)
If so, in what percentage? ____%
Do you have friends that are not recipients of this newsletter? (Y/N)
If so, Will they be coming to our apartment frequently? (Y/N)
If so, will they be sitting on the couch and smoking marijuana? (Y/N)
If so, do you consider that a bad thing? (Y/N)
Are you interested in being involved in group sex? (Y/N)
If so:
Males: Shall you be bringing your own partners? (Y/N)
Shall you bring additional partners for us? (Y/N)
Females: Shall you be bringing any of your friends? (Y/N)
If So:
Do they spit or swallow? (Spit/Swallow/Gurgle[extra points])
Do they do rim-jobs? (Y/N)
Do they have any VDs? (Y/N)
Will You be assisting with the dishes? (Y/N)
If so, in what portion? (Y/N)
Do you have any recreational equipment? (mark X where needed)
[] Sony Playstation [] Sony Playstation II [] Television [] Nintendo (Model:__) [] Xbox
[] Computer (Spec:________________________________________)
[] Notebook Computer (Spec:________________________________)
[] DVD [] Poker Table [] Pool Table [] Stereo System
[] Ping Pong Table [] Naked Twister rag [] Dolby Digital Equipment
Do you play network games? (Y/N)
What are your four basic food groups? (Mark X where needed)
[] Pizza [] Pasta [] Chinese [] Thai
[] Indian [] Burger [] French [] Junk
Do you play any musical instrument? (Y/N)
If so, will you be bringing it with you? (Y/N)
Do you have any problems with people playing loud music until dawn? (Y/N)

New Car
-------
I got my Smart Car, finally. installed a great stereo, and now i can drive it around the town (when i feel better, i really want to die now, this feels like an hangover, but it isn't it's really really weird.)

School Paper
------------
Well, wish me luck, my interview is tomorrow and i hope not to be sick as hell. I feel REALLY BAD for the first time in over a year. i cannot remember when i felt this bad. i just hope it will pass. i cannot eat, cannot drink anything but water

Anyways
-------
(1) Maya (Rosenthal) - you always say i never write about you. well, here goes - I wish you luck in your driver's test.
(2) Maya (Lan) - Miss you. write some more.... I`ll be in europe in Mid-Jan, shall you be in london?
(3) Amir - Come back soon, we shall leave a space in our room (same for schwartz)

That's it,
It was a short one,
Jon

Posted by jk at 09:22 PM | Comments (0)

December 15, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

This Week On The Newsletter:
----------------------------
Table Of Contents:
(1) Lost Kid
(2) Money4Nothing
(3) Student Appreciation Day
(4) Alcohol and me
(5) Sex in the city/New Apartment?
(7) www.ilhost.com
(8) Contact me!

Where in The World is Carmen Santiago (maybe having sex with Amir)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Has anyone seen, been written by, had sex with or even just heard of Amir Amit? he was last seen in Malvern Australia, and we heard that Shaya, his (Ex-)Girlfriend came to visit. since then, and it was a month ago, no signs of life were given from this person. if anyone sees him please notify his worried parents.

School Newspaper
----------------
Well, Shlomit and I are candidates for editing the school newspaper (keep note that i am still calling it school, even though it is really really ultra high school - the academy) and we wanted to start making it more, well i donnu, interesting. so i thought about some subjects that i would like to hear you feedback on:
(1) Me and Shlomps go to eat somewhere (on the newspaper's expense account) and write a review.
(2) Then we go out to a movie (again, same expense account) and review it.
(3) we set people on blind dates, and they have to write about the other person in a real way, meaning things like 'why the hell does he tuck his shirt in' or stuff.
(4) Surveys and shit
(5) Letting students mail us articles and publish them.

It's the National Student Appreciation Day
------------------------------------------
Well, I Just got a call from my mom, which is in berlin (i had to stay, wanted to study) she is currently having dinner with no other than - - - my tax law teacher. and he said only nice things about me, and called me a talented student (although he is the only teacher which i am able to sleep in his classes since he is so relaxing). I feel good - ta na na na na na na , i know that i would , ta na na na na na na.

Alcohol And Me
--------------
It was my parents 25th anniversary, or do we call it a golden shower (no, that's another kind of perversion) they call it the silver wedding. whatever, i bartended alongside Noam (my cousin) and we both managed to get eighty fifty year olds drunk, and also highlights:
(1) Gil, my 14 year old cousin had intoxicated himself for the first time, drank: 1 White Russian, 1 Vodka-RedBull, 1 Margarita (not frozen) and 2 Cups of Punch
(2) I used my rhetoric ability in order to prepare a speech for the entire forum.
(3) Decided that no longer will i drink cheap alcohol.

Sex In The City?
----------------
Well, Hertzelia is a city, and we are moving to a new apartment (we're moving on up, to the eastside, to a deluxe apartment in the sky) above Keren (we love you) Dolev, it is a 5 room apartment, and we are only 2 people, so we have 2 free rooms if you want to come over for orgies. we shall call one a Wreck (and not Rec) Room and the other shall be the Gym.

Where has everyone Gone?
------------------------
Following the disappearance of Amir ('Amiry') Amit, has been a major drop in presence in WWW.ILHOST.COM, meaning that you people are like scavengers, come in once in a while, so we can give you a reward for your money's worth.

Contact Me!
-----------
Still want to hear new ideas, and know when and why everyone is coming back!

Love You All (maybe not all of you, but especially you..)

Jon

Posted by jk at 03:45 AM | Comments (0)

December 04, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Insights (for those who have not the will power to read most of the BS)
--------
had a very very long day.
I really had fun.
I feel the sorrow of my

Good News!

Good Morning?
--------------
I woke up at 7.30 in der morgen (in the morning) and got to work, i had to rush everything quickly since i had to go to the cemetery for my grandfather's brother's memorial.

A New Apartment
---------------
Around 9 Indermorgen, my phone rang, it was from an unknown number, so i answered, it was the landlord of the apartment above Keren, she asked if we were still interested in that apartment, that is actually quite nice, big (2 toilets so Mailen won't bug me about the time i spend there in my morning to get my beauty shower) and not that expensive, i said a tentative okay, and said i would have to talk to meir (who obviously agreed)

Well, Car?
----------
around 09.30 i went to the Mercedes dealership to check out the new S.M.A.R.T, and to see whether i could trade in my car, and to see how much would i have to work for it...

Saw The Car
-----------
Well, it was a very special show room, and i started by sitting in the car, it was kind of small, but comfortable, i could fit in quite easily, it felt nice, then i opened the hood and started to laugh, the engine is cooled by a FAN that is like on of the fans on meir's computer, it is 600 cc, and 54 HP. she explained some things about the levels of the car, i nodded and we went for a test drive.

Test Drive
----------
The saleswoman got in the car and started to drive first to let me see how the car 'feels', and she right away went to the highway. i asked her WHY? and took the car to the inner streets of Tel Aviv. tested my parking skill and etc. we got back and i fell in love. i wanted the car. i could order a car, but that could take 3-4 months, so i asked what is in stock, there were currently 2 cars in stock, a metallic blue with a glass roof (all the roof) and a gray with fiberglass one. i told the saleswoman that i wanted the blue one, and that i`d get back to her after i consult my family.

Accountant
----------
I had to go to my accountant to sign some checks [which will be a good thing in 4 paragraphs] but i was in a real hurry, since i had to be in my grandfather's office by 13.00 so we can go to jerusalem for the memorial. i got in, signed as quickly as i could and rushed out. DID NOT GET A TICKET!!

Factory
-------
I got to the factory at 12.45 and had to break in since no one bothered to open the door. went to my grandfather's office and chatted with him until my grandmother came, she was accompanied by Avi Zvi Klinger (my Dad's cousin's son), his wife (Dana?) and their child (Jonathan Klinger [Jr.]) and we started chit-chatting, his wife questioned me about my life, which seemed a bit strange when i told her i speak fluent english and hebrew and basic german, spanish and french, as well as have a basic concept of all latin dialects and can read sheet music.

Car?
----
I called the dealership to say that i am interested and if they could reserve me the car. I told my dad about the fact that i chose the blue one, and he , which is a great glass expert (anyway, he is considered the best in the middle east) said that a glass one is dangerous and i should take the fiberglass one. i called the dealership to reserve me the gray one.

Intercept
---------
When my mom heard about my dad's decision, she had to intercept, she wanted a glass roof (for MY CAR!!) so after telling the dealership i am taking the gray one, i had to notify her, 5 minutes later, that i am taking the blue one.

Memorial
--------
By 14.00 we got to jerusalem and i was famished, i had realized that i have not eaten breakfast, not dinner the night before................. we walked down to the grave of my grandfather's brother, which was the only person besides him from the family which survived the holocaust, and while everyone was saying Kadish, i read the writings on the tomb, it said - Here rests Abraham Zvi Klinger, a husband, a father, a brother . and it hit me. i began crying. it was the only sad thing i had really seen in the last year which made me cry. it got to me, i felt so sad for him, he was the only part of my grandfather's family who was left, and he was gone too. I just felt bad for him, I am sure that now i know why it is important to remember.

Food
----
After cleansing my soul i felt a more earthly need, for food. My dad, uncle, grandfather and grandmother went down to Abu Gosh to eat Lebanese food. 318 Nis, lots of food. that's it.

Back To the Accountant
----------------------
I had to rush back to the accountant to take a check for the car (4400 nis advance) before 5 o'clock, i rushed through tel-aviv's traffic, got there in time, took the check (i signed earlier) and drove through traffic to the dealership.

Back To The Dealership
----------------------
Well, i signed lots of papers.... have to go back on friday for more.

To The Office
-------------
Had some papers waiting for me to take care of from the early morning, went to work and stayed there for an hour until my head exploded. i called the landlord [funny word, isn't it, i think it's originated from england, is constructed from LAND and LORD] and said that we're taking the apartment.

Home
----
Got home at Seven, but the clothes in the laundry.

That's it.

Posted by jk at 07:48 AM | Comments (0)

November 27, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

This time i have enough time to write regarding the last few days, so i will write a long one.

Performance
-----------
On Friday was Dafna Kahana's birthday party, and i was supposed to
speak. I prepared my speech and everything. when i got there, i
understood that the guy that was supposed to perform with Arnon stood
him up, and i prepared myself to play on stage. I couldn't believe it, but it sounded okay, even though we had not rehearsed it, so anyway, it felt good, i should do it more often.

School
------
and again on friday, i went to my old high school (Alon) to try to
recruit the 12th graders to come and volunteer at our center. well, it was really strange to talk in front of 17 year olds who see you as an authority figure.....
kinda liked it.

Time Off
--------
Dear People! - i am planning on taking more vacation from my so called life, since i kind of liked the last one. so if anyone is interested in joining me next weekend you are more than invited (maybe not all of you) So here it goes - I'm taking my dad's car (the pajero) and anyone who wants to and we are going to be by the beach, don't know what are we going to do, but probably it would be involved in stolen identities and remotely connected to this reality. _P_L_E_A_S_E___C_A_L_L__I_F__Y_O_U___I_N_T_E_N_D___T_O___J_O_I_N.

It's over and back again,
-------------------------
My plans for the upcoming fortnight: next week is school, no major difference. it seems that we started a dinner club, we meet every monday after school and go to eat somewhere, the activity is done around 1900, so everyone is invited to join us. please coordinate with Idan Koch (the man and the legend). Later on, on December 10th i shall be flying to Bulgaria for a day, (again, if anyone wants he is invited) and on the 14th i am going to a dinner party in berlin in honor of Shimon Peres, So my big plan is to land on the 13th, rent a car and go clubbing in Berlin, afterwards go to the cocktail and the dinner, and then get back home in time for my monday morning classes.

A Month without caffeine?
-------------------------
would you believe it? i am still alive, and i had no coffee for such a long time, I checked my calendar, and it seems that i quitted caffeine on october 29th. my prize? a brand new liver..... unfortunately, Caffeine was the only toxin i was able to quit, and the only one i was truly addicted too.

No Regrets
----------
Well, another newsletter had come to its end, like any good thing, and now the prizes for the people who read it all.....

(1) Daphna - Miss you very very much! i loved the pictures you sent with Roee, tell him i miss him too...... if you need anything, my dad has an office in india so you can go and get some of the delights of the west (like running water)
(2) Guy - good to see that you got everything settled in your head, don't forget to implement it.
(3) Maya Lan - Miss you, could you tell me what are your plans for Xmas?
(4) Eyal Katz - as for the nintendo thing, do let me know when can you meet.
(5) Amir - Send us pictures of you and Shaya (not those pictures)
(6) Ron - Miss you man, need your company. hope you are getting the necessary amount of Shanty.

Prozac is not a way, its a need......
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
ICQ : 28586277
Email: [email protected]

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 07:03 AM | Comments (0)

November 18, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

3 Weeks without Caffeine
------------------------
Well, It's been 3 weeks without my favorite drug, and it was quite hard, however i can say that now i feel more alive than ever, i started getting my dreams back, and who knows... maybe soon i`ll have a real life or some interest in doing things and not feel numb all day long.

Happy Birthday Maya_Lan
-----------------------
Well, since i have no other way to communicate with you i will state it now: Happy Birthday dear Maya... I wanted to buy you a present and stuff, but i really don't know where to send it. so what we'll do is let you take the 100Nis you owe me (from the night at the Cheers) and go and buy yourself a good beer or something.... and the next time i`ll see you i`ll bring you something real.

School
------
Well, I finished my first assignment for this year, civil procedure, and i need to start doing my other tasks, that's why I'm not nagging you as much as i used to... to all of the dear people - there might be a possibility that we will be arranging a jeep trip around hanuka to ease our minds, let me know if you're interested.

The Contest resumes
-------------------
Since i found out that i still have that spare cash, i decided to keep the prize winning contest going. I think that it could be useful.... PEOPLE PARTICIPATE!!!!!!!!!!

Shopping For Clothes
--------------------
After a long long time, i decided to go and buy clothes so i can feel new with myself... i ended up buying really cool underwear (microfiber) and some T-Shirts (long sleeve, Gutkes fit) and that's all. the price was really high, but what the heck, i needed this shit. next week i`ll keep spending money on myself.

The End
-------
Yes this time it was short, just a quickie.......

Love you All. (maybe)
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
ICQ : 28586277
Email: [email protected]

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Posted by jk at 09:09 AM | Comments (0)

October 30, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Executive Summary:
------------------
Since most of you are not reading my bullshiting, i'll summarize my points here:
(1) Stopped using _any_ chemicals on my body (including coffee)

Detoxification
--------------
I Started my first detoxification ever. no more Caffeine, no more Nicotine and no more alcohol. It took over me and for the first time in my life i felt addicted to something. this was really strange... The first day of Detox went fine, i`ll talk about it in the later part of this newsletter, the second one (today) was a mess.....

Woke Up
--------
I Woke up after 6.2 hours of sleep at 06:59 in the morning (after a few relapses around 04:00) and i took myself to the shower, i bathed in cold water (god knows why) and opened my eyes. did _not_ drink my coffee and went to school. at school temptation was harder than ever, the sweet smell of coffee filled the classroom as everybody went in with their zombie like faces and sipped coffee all hour long. afterwards came breakfast, without coffee, again, only now it was already 09:30, and i was without my precious cup.

Tax Law
-------
after 3 more classes came tax law, which is the downside of my year, the Dr. is so monotonic that i can start to ponder and wander off to far dimensions. and then i fell asleep. in the middle of class in front of everyone. I woke up to the sound of Dr. Raphael calling my name, then later when i tried to participate he said that i did not have enough sleep and sent me to doze again.

Now
---
I'm home, jabbering about myself since I'm in withdrawal from caffeine. in an hour or so i`ll get to bed and start shaking like hell (like yesterday - took me an hour to get to sleep)

Yesterday
---------
I went to the Comedia Del`Arte yesterday, to see a show (that no one came to see with me) and it was really nice (though it was in italian) i really enjoyed it - shame on you. I came there into the cocktail, the Ambassador's assistant felt sorry for me for being alone so she flirted with me a tad. too bad, i don't like blondes....

Ended Up
--------
In the Cats (Katz) visiting Ayelet and getting NO ATTENTION since there was this stupid game on TV. something i donnu about. nevermind. action items people:

(1) Oran - Got your mail, will transfer it ASAP
(2) Maya (Ktina) - I'm coming to give a lecture on friday in your school, be prepared
(3) Eyal - Sent you the mail regarding the patents
(4) Olive - Start reading my mail
(5) Schwartz - Same same.

Love you all (except those who have me)
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
ICQ : 28586277
Email: [email protected]

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Posted by jk at 06:25 AM | Comments (0)

October 26, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Good Morning Sunshine
---------------------
I'm Kind of cranky since i woke up at 0700 today, so all this is going to be in a kind of cynic tone. I haven't had a good night sleep from at least when school started. it kinds of bring you down when you absolutely know that nothing can help your mind other than to listen to music which is composed of random noises (such as the last 2-3 tracks on any Porcupine tree CD) currently I'm listen to 'Evil Dildo Radio Station' (you can find them on www.shoutcast.com - i get 0.25$ per click - not really) they have the BEST music in the world, it's Alt.Rock/Acid Jazz/Chillout and i can really be sure that like beer, bandwidth can also be there for me every time i need it.

Date?
-----
Well, due to my obligations at work, i got an invitation for a stage-play called 'I Casi Della Fame e Dell'amore' - in english from italian - cases of hunger and love. it's on Tuesday, Oct. 29th at 20:00 and i need a date.... it's in the Susan Delal Centre and i would really appreciate it if any of the girls listed in my mailing list would come with me as a date. I offer the following (1) No sexual orientation whatsoever (2) free cocktail shit at the reception (3) one of the tickets (i think it's worth a lot) (4) My attention for at least 2 hours. the requirements are (1) Good English (italian and german will be of greater value) (2) Knowledge of fine arts (3) Good looks. since this is Kind of urgent, i would appreciate a prompt reply. BTW: It is hosted by the Swiss embassy and all the diplomatic staff would be there.

The Juan J. Klinger Memorial Coffee.
------------------------------------
I am happy to introduce a new dish in our school cafeteria, the Jon Klinger coffee. it is the regular slurpy coffee, but with 1 shot of espresso added to each cup for maximum pleasure. critics say it can shorten your life between 5 to 10 days. Prices range from 10nis to 15, depends on who you know.....

Would you do your teacher?
--------------------------
I think one of my TAs (teaching assistants) in school tried to hit on me, we drank coffee together (not my memorial coffee whether the one i made myself yesterday - 6 tsps of coffee, 10 tsps of sugar, 30cc of whiskey and 1 pint of milk, add crushed ice and blend) and i started to intoxicate her, we started talking about my work and etc, and i think she laughed at my un-funny jokes (as Oran always says). the moral question is 'would you do your teacher for a grade' and the answer is no. the problem is that i think that if she flirted with me and i took it seriously then I'm all fucked up. never mind, to be settled.....

The Contest
-----------
NO ONE sent me a reply to the contest! no one! and there was a 1000 Nis reward, this means i`ll take my money and fly to Amsterdam in one of the next weekends, if anyone is interested to join me, please do so - i`ll fly on thursday on the 23:30 flight and get back by sunday on the 05:30am flight. costs around 400$; you can buy a ticket at www.daka90.co.il (again 0.25$ per click - I'm going to be rich)

Cocktail at the Embassy, Dinner at Mika
----------------------------------------
Two weeks ago, in the middle of the garbage worker's strike in Tel-Aviv, i took Ronna with me to have Dinner (as i thought) at the Italian Ambassador's house, i got an invitation to Dinner with the Environmental delegation of the Italian government. we got there and there was no connection to environmental issues whatsoever, and worse - there was no food. i famished myself all day long so i can come to the dinner and eat, and all that was there were little cakes and kishes. afterwards, Ronna and I took ourselves to Dinner at Mika, where i expected to pay much money and satisfy my famine. we ordered Sushi, and other unrecognized items, and went out ever more hungry than we came in! and of course with 130 nis less. mind you - don't go there.

Action Items:
(1) Saar / Daphna - My dad is flying to Thai again, if you need something.
(2) Maya - i got your mail (around 70 times) as for the Spanish part: Bien, comence' el excedente que iba todo de lo que teni'a en mi cabeza y realice' que nada es realmente importante. y para usted - hay una cosa importante en el mundo alli' es actualmente un nuevo asesino serial, y e'l consiguio' cogido, usted no puede conseguir siempre lo que usted desea.
(3) Koch / Oran / Schwartz - please spare some time to have fun!
(4) Keren - Let us know when you find your new apartment.
(5) Amir - spoke to Shaya today, we are meeting to give her all she needs for her visit. too bad pat is flying before shaya is leaving, you could have had your fantasy. BTW: will you stay in touch with Pat? i mean is she planning on coming to israel etc?
(6)Ayelet - Mazal Tov!
(7) Meir and Mailen - mazal tov for the anniversary.

For all of you, Juan Jose Klinger Di Efron signing off to tell you just to have fun and leave me alone....
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
ICQ : 28586277
Email: [email protected]

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October 09, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Good Trip/Bad Trip
------------------
After a long long time with no vacation I decided to take myself out with the person I need to know most, meaning myself. I took myself out for a trip to get to know myself better and explore new horizons. In order to get two days off from school and work I had to take extreme measures. I finished working on the big big pile of paper sitting on my table and read all the E-mails in my inbox. I returned calls to everyone who had been looking for me in the last year and I faxed all the papers in the OutBox. and on Saturday october 5th, at 18:00, i closed down my cellphone for 48 hours; making myself totally unavailable to the outside world and letting myself have the freedom to do everything i ever wanted, and to do so _alone_

First Stop - The Cats
---------------------
I started my vacation with a Cup of Johnnie Walker Red at the Cats, where we met Ayelet and Shiri (Tal's ex) and talked until two in the morning about the "good old times" and reminisced about high school experiences. There is no such things as "Good Old Times"; if there were good times, they would continue until now and we have no apparent reason to stop them! think about it....

Next Up
-------
I took my car and didn't know where i am heading, i just wanted to go somewhere with water. I stopped the the StopMarket on the way and got all i needed, and headed up to the Kinneret, knowing that no one will be there and i can be alone with myself, thinking and relaxing. I got to the Kinneret after 2 smokes and 2 hours, at four thirty in the morning, just in time to set up my tent and wait for the sun to rise.

From Dawn
---------
The sun rose, and i don't know what time it was, and i went for a short swim in the water. I got back in the tent and went to sleep until the sun nagged me again, later... I think it was late noon. I went for another swim when i woke up and afterwards made myself some food.

Lunch
-----
After Lunch i thought about going somewhere, so i packed my bags, took my car and started to drive. After crossing Arik Bridge, i noticed a side road leading to the Jordan river, I drove down the road until i got to the point where the river meets the sea (or lake). I think it's one of the calmest places i ever saw. I sat down for a drink and a smoke, and i got back on the way.

Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy
--------------------------------
I Picked up a soldier on the way (there's the whole 'kidnap a soldier for the way' - חטוף חייל לדרך) and asked him where he needed. I took him home and decided to go to Sfat; I've never been there and i just was curious. On the way up the Meiron mountain i saw a sign - 'Amirim - Vegetarian Hosting' and i decided that this is a great place to meet veggie chicks, so i went in the village.

Coffee To Go
------------
The whole place was really strange, every house had rooms for rent, and i just wanted to sit down in a lobby for coffee; no more, no less. I stopped a stranger along the road and asked where can i drink a cup of coffee. he directed me to the Dalia Restaurant uphill. I Stopped near the restaurant and started to walk along the marked trail. It looked extremely similar to a regular house, only with a sign saying it's a restaurant. the door said "Dalia and Something Cohen" so i knocked and entered. In the kitchen was a lady, around my age, cooking veggie food. I asked her for an explanation about the thing and for a cup of Cafe-Negro (Black Coffee) I sat in their porch, looking at the view and sipping my cup of Coffee.

Ras-Nakura
----------
I continued my journey for myself with myself with a drive to the lebanese border, to Rosh-Hanikra (Rasnakura) and afterwards a drive to Nelly's Kibbutz, to visit her and relax for a while. on the way to the Kibbutz, i took three hitchhikers, around 15 years of age, and with a Scrub personality (in hebrew we say "Frechot") they made me sick and i understood why civilization cannot withstand stupidity. I made it very important to study each and every minute of the trip.

Got To Myself
-------------
By the time i got to the Kibbutz, it was already 9 in the evening, and everyone was tired. I went to see Nelly dance and practice. Afterwards we went to sleep. She woke up at 6 in the morning! and she forgot to turn the alarm clock off, so from 8am till 10:30, it kept beeping every 5 minutes (i didn't have the will power to get up and shut it down). I woke up, saw a part of their modern dance lesson, ate lunch with her (She cooks the best veggie burgers ever!) and started to head back home.

Bunny Slippers
--------------
I had a feeling i should stop at Kfar Vitkin's mall for a brief look at what's there, so i did. I went in the shoe store and saw Bunny Slippers (Maya - like the kind i always looked for) and asked the clerk whether they have them at size 46? he did not hesitate to say yes!!!! I bought them immediately. i now have my very own Snoopy slippers, they are as big as a real dog, but never mind.

Every Good Thing Comes To An End
--------------------------------
And so did my yearly vacation. I had a lot of time with myself and now i can truly say i know what i want and need. being alone really relives you from the aches of reality. I got back to work and school starts again next monday. so i don't really have much time.

Action Items, People
--------------------
(1) Daphna - I miss you very much, I know you always complain about how i don't write to you and I answer that's it's because i talk to you all the time. so now i haven't spoken to you since you flew (almost to weeks); i only read your email, and actually had no time to reply. so i'll do so soon.
(2) Nelly - big big big big thanks for the hospitality, it was just what i needed after so much time without resting. give a big regard to Noga and let her know that i want to see her work when it's completed. And I'm sorry for the Kitchen-Paper-Holder.
(3) Ronna - Let me know when you plan to come to the Mo`adonit.
(4) Everyone - _Urgent_ - My brother's kindergarten is looking for an english teacher that can come twice a week for an hour or two. so if you have _Perfect_ english (oran - you're out) and you are great with kids, please let me know. this is only to the '150 in the psychometric' club that a large portion of the newsletter's subscribers is a member of (actually only 0.5% of the population is so)
(5) Amir - need to hold a conference call so we can see how can we make money
(6) Oran - if you want us to come to the fucking party (ah - everyone - oran wants us to come to a big party where Infected will play with Barry and Shpongle are playing) let us know (a) where is it (b) how much money (c) who else is coming. this can be done at www.ilhost.com
(7) Guy - Stay in israel

So, Hasta la proxima semana.
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

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September 26, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Hi Guy
------
I would like to begin this week's newsletter to thank the guy that made it all possible, Mr. Guy Schwartz, that without his infatuation to the holy green ($$$ - not the other thing) we would not have a NordLead II for the jam sessions we held on Sunday and Tuesday. Guy you are a good person and i wish you all the best! we shall hopefully see you soon back in israel.

Pearl Jam
---------
We started Jamming on sunday, only oran and I. then Arnon came; for me it was an experience, i believe that most of you would have gotten bored from it, but this was my mental therapy of this year. Sitting near a pool, with my guitar and friends, playing and letting my soul out. I think every one of us should have his own 'place' to do so. I need to find mine.

No Woman, No Cry
----------------
Found out some things this week that got the better of me. Our cat died, and for the first time in a year i cried. and then i understood. it seems that in the last year there were no situations that i could not handle, until this one. maybe it makes me more human, maybe not - but i really feel bad about it and nothing i do can ease my mind.

Cable Guy
---------
After 2 months of trying to un-subscribe from the cables, it seems that now we're closer than ever! the _kind_ people of 'Arutzey Zahav' have finally agreed to disconnect us from their system so we can stop paying them around 200 Shequels per month. not that i expect any answers, but IS IT WORTH IT? gazing at a telescreen (1984) for money? so i decided to re-balance my resources and use the money for more satisfying activities.

Amsterdam?
----------
Well, 400$ and i can be there for a weekend. I _do_ have the money, and i do have the will, but should i? why should i run from a reality to an alternate one. I don't need running - i need a reality. I thought about it seriously, and the only reason i have to go to amsterdam is to have a different weekend than in israel, a one that i force myself to have 'fun' and am i really having fun if i'm not doing it here? maybe the 400$ can be spent on Clothes/Food/Alcohol/Music/Movies/Parties. and then
came my new idea:

Introducing The.....
--------------------
Amazing "Jonathan J. Klinger Do Something Contest"
--------------------------------------------------
Well, I have 400$, that's around 2000 shequels to _SPEND_; and I invite each and every one of you to suggest what to do with a 1000 Nis, and to join me (make note - i am not assuring that i give you a 1000 Nis per each idea, I am suggesting that if there is a good idea of what to do with the money, and i do it with you i will pay for it.) I excluded the following activities from the contest:
(1) Buying Drugs
(2) All you can drink night
(3) Skydiving
(4) Renting a Porsche and driving 400 Km/h on ayalon while banging into cars only because its a rental and i don't care
(5) Buying _any_ electrical equipment
(6) Going to _any_ party
You have until next week to send your suggestion - and again - there are no certain winners, and you must participate in the activity with me to get the remuneration.

Show me the way....
-------------------
I sat and had a drink with maya the other week, and she told me that she took an alcoholism test with 13 question and _aced_ it with a 9! so i decided to write our own alcoholism test just to make sure that none of us are alcoholics and that we can all be healthy until we are 120.
Technical point: Beer is not considered alcohol for this test.

Answer the following questions by Yes/No
(1) Do you drink alcoholic beverages from the bottle?
(2) Do you feel a need for a drink when you wake up?
(3) Do you need alcohol to find the people of the other sex more attractive?
(4) Have you ever had intercourse without intoxicating the other party first?
(5) Have you woken up in a bed, not knowing where, why and who is next to you?
(6) Do you believe that alcohol improves your conception of reality?
(7) Have you sold any possessions (including rectal virginity) in order to obtain alcohol?
(8) Do you buy alcohol by the bulk? (not once in a while, i mean having a real order card at an alcohol retailer)
(9) Do you spend more than 10% of your monthly income in pubs/bars/whore houses?
(10) Are you an alcoholic?

Well the grading goes something like this,
You count the 'yes's and add them to a number, if the number is bigger than 5 multiply it by 3, if it is less than 5 multiply it by 5. then take the number of 'no's and subtract it from the last number. power the
number by 27 and then comes the last part:
look at the last question and see whether you answered yes or no.

not funny, but it's worth the while

Every Good Thing Must Come To An End
------------------------------------
And so is this newsletter; after me concluding and adding my assessment of the last weeks, stating the improvement/decay of my mental state. The last two weeks were kind of easy since i didn't have to go to school, however, the free time makes you nervous. i understood that by keeping myself constantly busy i can make myself forget the sorrow of life i live. maybe all i need to do is to get a life. I know that i treated most of the people close to me really bad in the last two weeks, but it was without malice, i only had a minor crisis to overcome. I hope that you can forget it. Sorry for not returning any calls/not answering the phone/not coming to important events/not willing to participate in group sex/not being able to be there for you guys. i needed my rest. and i am sure that it would come soon. Freedom is just a mouse click away......

Personal Notes?
---------------
I Don't think that there are any this week.

Love you guys, keep up the good work
--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

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September 15, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Redemption Songs, Redemption Songs
-----------------------------------
Tomorrow is Yom Kippur, the holiest of the holy and I'm sure that most of you will be attending some kind of religious ceremony - either playing poker or getting pissed drunk. but i wanted to say a few things to make this easier since i don't know how to explain it. the religious part is actually bullshit but the part between people isn't. the fact is that nobody actually wrote to say he's sorry or to ask my forgiveness. i feel bad about it.

Party
-----
Next week we are having a small gathering of people at my grandparents. i hope that we can bring around a hundred people and have a feast. i plan on free margaritas and twisting by the pool for a day and a half. the proper day and time shall be notified as soon as we find what to do. i hope that you can contribute to the party with your lovely presence. The party is for TWO DAYS and i hope that we can arrange some kind of activity there. PLEASE HELP ME HELP US HAVE FUN.

The Cat is out of the bag.
--------------------------
Tal(iban), our cat had started acting nicely to people for not obvious reason. any cat psychologist is invited to help us. he had done numerous cute things at home and i just can't blame him. Actually, he shit on my guitar case once, but that is all.

I Want to ride my Bicycle
-------------------------
Meir and I had bought bikes and started driving in the open land around. we had a marvelous trip yesterday to the Appolonia reservation and back home. i think about doing a real trek later this month.

iCECAFE.
========
We bought a new blender with ice shredder so we can make ice coffee at home. everyone is invited for a cup. Bring your own ice.

Points
------
(1) Yoav wrote a letter - i am so happy.
(2) Guy - Happy Birthday! Do let us know what you wish to be done for your arrival
(3) Oran - Help ! i need Help for the party.
(4) Meir - Don't forget to feed the cat.
(5) Nelly - I'm coming to visit next week (Sukut) for a day or two. let me know what should i bring
(5) Amir - Happy Birthday!

Don't do anal sex, it causes rectal infirmity.

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

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September 06, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

The Taliban Had Won The War
---------------------------------
I can't believe he eats that much, our new cats eats 4 times a day, and he finishes a box of canned meat per day. the only possibility i thought of is that meir ate the canned meat since i don't allow him meat in the house. he is so cute, he plays all day with our shit. well, alls well in the apartment but the mess he is causing (i still cause my mess) and i think he scared all the cockroaches.

The Drugs Don't Work
------------------------
My last intoxication attempt, this tuesday, was annulled by my mood. i tried to drink, and after a long island (1 shot tequila, one shot vodka, one shot gin, one shot whiskey, one shot rum and some orange juice) and a golden schnapps (cinnamon schnapps with golden leaves) i felt bad. i don't know why, it wasn't alcohol bad, it was the blues. i haven't felt them in a long time. i came home and put 'requiem for a dream' on my divx player and started to stare.

Wrote A Song - Wanna Hear it?
---------------------------------
My artistic side got the better of me this week, i wrote some stuff that i felt like writing and composed it. i decided an executive decision that from now on each one of my ex-girlfriends would get a compilation CD with the songs i wrote about her so she'd see what she lost. it sounds like a good idea, all i need now is to record the shit. i would appreciate any assistance.

Yom Kippour
--------------
This section is really important, since most of the time i think i am fault proof - i would only do this once. i am asking for forgiveness for the things I've done. and i am willing to forgive everything - yes everything, at the price of redemption. so here it goes, i`ll try to think of the bad deeds I've done, not only in the last year but all along my life. this is the only way I'm sure i can be free from err. so please, forgive me for the things I've done, since I've done most of the unknownfully. and the people who want my forgiveness for things i do not know about, just tell me. i won't get mad. I'm currently at a stage of total relaxation.

Enough Bullshitting for a day,

Love, Hate and all other things you want.

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 02:38 AM | Comments (0)

August 29, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

A New Roomate
-----------------
Well, after a big cockroach problem, Murrr & I have decided to adopt a new pet to our apartment since Mailen's attempts to deport them from our place failed. His name is Tal (Liban) and he should be quite violent. he kept me up most of last night. Meir and Mailen played with him until they wanted to sleep and then freed him to the open fields in our apartment; of course, he decided to sleep in my room on my bed, on my body and on my neck and bite whenever he wanted.

School's Out
--------------
Only five more days until my vacations starts, and then it's fun fun fun. i am free until october 13th. we are able to do whatever we want. oh well, i guess i`ll be all by myself now. anyone who wishes to intoxicate himself in this short time may join me in my apartment for a drinking session. please do so since i found out in the last weeks i am very _very_ very bored.

No Soup For You...
---------------------
Well, the last few weeks were kind of strange, that is why i haven't bugged you that much. i only know it's good to have people to rely on in these strange times. I really think that it is good that i have people that i can write to and discuss everything i have on my mind. the problem is that most of these things cannot be broadcasted at a mass, so i sometimes think that i should be more personal. so i will dedicate the time in the near future to make time for you.

Action Items:
-------------
(1) Ronna - I am still waiting for your Curriculum Viate since i wanted to transfer it to several people. please do so in the near time. also i sent you the Epical log with my babbling. i`d like to hear some comments.
(2) Oran - Chill. Relax. Think. There's a time and place for everything.
(3) Meir - FEED THE CAT
(4) Guy - I`ll let you know my dates for the trip, but as it goes right now, there's a problem with arranging meetings with the telco's around september.
(5) Nelly - I Miss you, when are you getting back, call me.
(6) Yoav - Your Trip without communication should be over in the near future, do contact.
Last but not least
(7) Amir - We miss you, tell me what's going on.

Love, Hate and various emotions that make you do stupid stuff;

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

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Posted by jk at 10:46 PM | Comments (0)

August 18, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Beer And The City
-------------------
Well, i managed to intoxicate myself, you can read the full story at http://www.ilhost.com and comment, but i shall give you the highlights: I GOT DRUNK - I made stupid things, i asked three girls whether they would sleep with me, and that's all. it was fun.

We interrupt this Email with a special news bulletin
---------------------------------------------------
This week was stranger than strange, i shall begin to tell the tale of the week that began on August 11th and ended today, bit by bit and elaborate on the fun parts.

Beyom Rishon Gargirim VeZero`nim
-------------------------------------
Sunday was mild, after a few short hours of sleep i went with Meir to pick up Mailen from the Airport, i got my daily (or maybe weekly) dose of caffeine and waited, she came and we went home, later i went to fulfill my academic duties, and had done so successfully. as i returned to my quarters, my cellular phone rang, it was a friend of mine, he had some trouble writing his final paper in legal research. he came, picked me up and we went to school again. afterwards, Oran and I went to Limor's house to watch TV and get intoxicated. it was quite exhilarating, i stayed up until three o'clock and went home to sleep for a few hours.

Beyom Sheni Gargirim VeZero`nim
------------------------------------
Monday WAS different - i woke up and went to work, not knowing what today holds, and not realizing i am tired. after work was the Mo`adonit, where i helped the youngsters with their school assignments. Oran had invited me to a party in the TLV, he said that there would be models and etc... i said that i`d join him since my sleepy hours aren't really worth it. i got home at seven and took a short nap, hoping that Oran would wake me up so i would go with him. the clock stroke eleven and there was no call, i woke up and Mailen came to entertain me until Meir comes home, i went to sleep around two o'clock.

The Never-ending story
-----------------------
Tuesday, i thought i could sleep until late, but no, reality had to strike me in the face. i woke up for work and had to meet people i don't really know what they do, nor think their technology is worth anything.... then afterwards i went to school.... after the relaxing hours at school i went to work again, listening to an interesting idea, but it only interests me... afterwards we headed to Limor's since she still had an empty house and we needed something to do. :-).... we got intoxicated and came home at six o'clock.

Wednesday, do you wonder?
------------------------------
On wednesday i woke up LATE!!!!!!!... and then i had to do something - ah - right, i had to pick up checks from our clients, that of course were not ready, so i had to get to work and then i went off to Beer City - i stood for two straight hours in a traffic jam (when you're already late, a no smoking sign on your cigarette break...) and then parked my car and went to hear some music.

Two good things and then it went too bad....
---------------------------------------------
As human as we are, i shall begin with the good news, I heard great music from Fortis, who performed around 22:00, and then split up from my company and went to do other stuff, i sat down and heard an ACiD-JaZZ band called 'Harry Cookoo' that improvised on stage and did some weird stuff that i liked, we should go and see them some day...... and now for the bad...... When Maya (the Seventeen year-old) and I stood in line for beer, i saw the person in front of me going out of the line and in to the line on the other side of the bar, then i realized it was **** (my Ex) that was avoiding me, never mind, it's not like last year in Student-Day..... Now for the other bad thing (with a good ending).... Maya (the Seventeen year-old) had lost her cell-phone and had gone Bezzerk thinking it was stolen, she gave Oran and I an enormous headache and I called her cellphone looking for it, then it came to me - the cellphone is available and no one answers, meaning it was lost and not stolen..... around 02:00 her mother called Oran's cellular saying that it was handed to the police and we should pick it up from the Police Station in Ramat-Gan... Off we went.

Beyom Hamishi - Gargirim Vezero`nim
----------------------------------------
I woke up around 08:00 to go and pick up the checks and then deposit them in several banks. Paid my tuition for this year (actually - only a part of it) and went to school. I had to give a lecture in a course I'm studying, it was interesting. After School, Oran wanted me to go with him to buy tickets to a party he wanted to go on friday, so i passed by my parents and left my computer there, along with my Cellphone (and took another one/just replaced the SiM) and went to buy the stupid tickets..... we met with the guy that was supposed to sell them, and his car broke down, i asked him where the party is since i was not going to drive more than an hour/hour and a half, and he said near the Kinneret, i passed. then i navigated Oran to Beer City again in less than 30 Minutes, where Oran and I heard some Irish music and I drank a cup of Murphy's beer (alcohol blood count - +1 Beer), then we went to Oran and to a Pub called `Steel' with friends of mine from School. at the Pub i started with a Vodka RedBull (add to Alcohol blood count) and then sipped from other people's drinks, then came the 2/3 cup of Hooegarden that i like so much, and then came the Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz; now for the strange thing, my inhibitions were down, and i felt that i can go and try to pick up a girl that looked nice (strange to hear that from me....), So i walked on, trying to be tactful, and told her i think she looks nice, and then it hit me, SHE KNOWS ME, she was at my birthday party with two ugly friends that Zabar tried to pick up, and then they all went with Itay to one of the girls houses and did what they did......... I came home, passed out and got up around twelveish.

Friday???? what Day???
-------------------------
I went to my parents to eat lunch with them, and then i went off to Liran to help him move the stuff to his new apartment, after that i went to a family dinner and then i came home, and started to clean my room (surprise surprise), around 2200 oran called and asked me whether i wanted a free ticket to the stupid party, he didn't understand that i was kind of tired and i had no will power to move, i gently refused and went to sleep.

And on the Seventh day....
---------------------------
God rested, and i tried too..... summary - DON'T SEE GOLDMEMBER.

Love you All, and now for the important stuff:
(1) Going To California - next week I'm in Lala land working for two days, and i`ll try to nag Schwartz for as much as I can
(2) Maya is having a party on Tuesday in the Chaps in Tel Aviv, 25Nis and you're in. I need a reason to be there, do come....
(3) Do you actually read this shit?????????

Love, Peace and Intoxication,

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 08:00 AM | Comments (0)

August 02, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Preparing for Field Trip:
-------------------------
Attention Everyone, it goes like this:
>From October 1st to the 7th I am planning the following trip and i wanted anyone who can to attend it,
I need you approval so i can get the proper equipment and set up track and stuff.

The program is like this:
Camping on the Snir River for a few days at a certain point that is a 15 minute hike from the main road, on a river covered with hedgerow and trees so there is shade all day long. the food shall be exclusively dried goods that we will be making on our "Amgazit", we shall purify our own water and make our own food. everyone will bring instruments and play music and create. the main point is to rest ourselves for a week before school starts, and this year the holidays including Rosh-Hashana take place on the Beginning of september, so there would be no one around.
The things that everyone is required to bring are as follows:
(1) Sleeping Bag
(2) Tent (or NOT - if you plan on sleeping with strangers)
(3) 50 NiS for food - I will buy for everyone, so i can keep everyone's diet (not loosing weight, but eating with balance)
(4) Musical Instruments
(5) Good Vibes

I am planning also a small Trek, but this depends if anyone is interested.

Besides that, if anyone is interested in a weekend in amsterdam (around 500$) say so.

News/Bad News
------------------
As usual, this week was as bad as the last one, i got a bit sick from going in/out of air-conditioned places, and i had absolutely no sleep until this morning. I NEED A CURE.
as for the news - Schwartz is alive and kicking, although he is not coming to Israel.

People
-------

Amir - I am looking for you like for 4 days, CALL ME or MAIL ME. i think we found a person that can get you work.
Ron - Sorry i didn't write to you personally for a long time, i just didn't have anything to say. it seems that my life stands still, and its bad.
Ronna - Do find time to meet me this week, please.
Mailen - We're keeping meir in shape so you won't be disappointed when you come back, don't cheat with strange people.
Keren - I Haven't heard what's going on with you, call me or something when you have time.

Love you all, (well, at least the ones that are in touch)

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 06:15 AM | Comments (0)

July 28, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Good News/Bad News?
-------------------------
On wednesday night, I was sitting at home with Meir and Chatting on the ICQ with people, when Oran started bleeping me annoyingly on the ICQ asking me to go to a party with him. It was an Infected Mushrooms (but holds the mushrooms) show in Haifa. instinctively i rejected the fine offer since i had to attend class in the morning. suddenly, a balloon popped next to oran's name on the ICQ, meaning that now it is his birthday, and since i knew that no one else would accept his offer, i accepted, just in order to make him happy. apparently, my motives were stupid since it was ONE FUCKING GOOD PARTY!, actually it was DuvDev (Oran - Correct me if I'm wrong) without Erez, but it was still a good show. of course we got there at 02:00 at night, and the show was only until 03:30. after the show oran and I decided that our hunger has to be satisfied and we went to the only place that can satisfy our needs, Nafis. I drove hungry from Haifa to Hertzelia, and we made our impressive entrance to Nafis. at the entrance sat Maya (not my ex, whether Maya Rosenthal) with some friends. they were after a party or something. we sat down and ordered ourselves a big fatut to fit our demand to be fed. Suddenly, there were voices and sounds of stuff breaking, apparently, some mentally challenged people (ARSIM) had started a food fight and ran outside without paying. a big fight began (we didn't take any part of it) and we waited patiently for our food. As our feast arrived to the table we started to eat. i took a bite out of my Fungi Fatut, and saw there were olives inside, i promptly returned my dish and asked for a clean one, They took my plate back and started to make a new one (supposedly). as my new dish arrived i noticed the Saliva look of the Fatut, however, hunger stroke me and i started to eat. after 4 bites neither me nor oran could eat any more. we decided never to come to Nafis again.
Went to Sleep: 06:15
Woke Up: 08:38
Went To Sleep: 08:40
Woke Up: 10:00

Then Came Thursday
----------------------
Thursday, was a school day, and being such needed a major amount of caffeine. my luck was that i did not have to work on Thursday evening. after a finished my academic duties I went to my apartment and gazed at the television for several hours hoping that i could sleep until the Drum&Bass party that we were going to. around 23:00 Eyal called me and asked my whether i could drop him off at a job interview for a Dance Bar called "Shesek" (which if he starts to play in we all must hear) ; so being the kind man that i am i accepted. I gassed my car and went to Nelly until eyal was ready. while i was at Nelly's Oran called my Cellular and started nagging about going to a different party at the TLV. we gently declined and went off to the Dynamo Dvash. Oran and Fish joined us. around 04:00, again our stomachs had betrayed us and started to remind us of the basic need to feed ourselves. after contemplating for several minutes, a group decision was set. we were going to Nafis. this time i did not order Fatut (have you noticed that Fatut contains the word FAT?).
Came home: 05:42
Went To Sleep: 06:00
Woke up: 09:30

Friday I'm in love?
-------------------
As I mentioned in my previous correspondence with you, Friday was the day of the party at Maya's, after finishing work around 14:00 i went off with Liran to help Maya clean her house and make it Party Safe. we started to clean (etc etc) and around 19:00 the house was ready. Most of you people attended this party (IF NOT - start to think of good excuses) and it was quite fun. the main point is that Eyal gave a nice set of lounge music and i stayed to clean her house until 03:30. two major bummers - (1) Maya promised me that if i found someone i could have sex in her hot-tub, you can guess that i stayed alone (2) Yet again, alcohol has no effect on me.

And Now for the relevant Matters
-----------------------------------
Tomorrow, around 15:15 is my first academic lecture, i have to talk in front of 100+ people regarding something. wish me luck
Parties - Please inform us
Amir - Your phone # is wrong, please send me a correct one

Love you all,
[If you know of people that don't want to get my junk, tell me. if you know people who do, tell me too.]

Don't do anal sex, it causes rectal infirmity

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 02:00 AM | Comments (0)

July 18, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Hi Everyone,
first of all, if you got this mail twice it is since I'm trying to send it out to all the registered users of amir's site (Action Item I - Amir, let me know to what email address should i send to make this really work)

Well, i came back from lovely Espana and Germany and i would like to say that:
(1) I have yet to join the mile high club and I'm so bummed regarding it, i was sure that with my number of flight i could have at least done it once in an airplane
(2) all around the world, UGLY PEOPLE DO NOT USE DEODORANT!!!!! and it is soooooooooooooooo bumming if you sit next to one of them on an airplane.
(3) Turn the computer screen upside down : 3w 53\/ol hpoqou
(4) the only reason i think people need girlfriends/boyfriends is to buy them presents when they are away....... NOBODY ASKED ME TO BUY THEM ANYTHING BUT CIGARETTES (Smad did ask for chocolate)

okay, let's go on to my usual babble (and this is where most of you stop reading since I'm not that interesting.....)

Party:
(1) Oran invited us all to celebrate something this friday, it's a rave.... something called Mokash (?? - Oran correct me if I'm wrong) and he said that it would be better than infected mushrooms....
(2) Maya (Rosenthal - el nina (there's a ~ above the second n)'s parents are going away and she wanted to have a party or something. (Action item II - Maya, let us know when the party is so we can bring ourselves)
(3) Oran's Birthday is coming - surprise party (oooooops.....) okay, not a surprise party but a party, suggest places etc etc....

News:
(1) Mailen, better known as the resident of my apartment that does not pay rent nor washes dishes (kidding) [any one who didn't get the joke, mailen is meir's girlfriend], is leaving us today to Bat-Yam (better known as thailand) for a month, meaning that any girl who is interested in meir can come to our apartment and do her deeds (on the other hand it means that we all have to make meir feel good)
(2) My school starts again this sunday..... good for me.
(3) I bought a new guitar,everyone is invited to come and play

Jobs and ETC:
everyone that i talked to is invited to send CV of him (or the person he wanted me to check for) and i`ll see what i can do.
Amir - send me how much free hours you have and we can check.

Don't do anal sex, it causes rectal infirmity

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 09:04 PM | Comments (0)

July 10, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

This week,

Hectic as follows:

On friday we had special dinner to say good-bye (and good riddance) to Amir (the person known as "please come to my site www.ilhost.com"), Amir left to fulfill his destiny in australia
(Action Item (1) - Ron - Amir is in melbourne, if you're there you can meet him)

Liran CAME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To celebrate we (meaning everyone that wants to join us) are going on a jeep trip this friday (location not yet set) and going to get pissed drunk and come back with the fun of our lives.

Schwartz And Saar - I tried to call you today, apparently it was 3AM at mongolia (meir told me it's 1AM) and we woke you up. sorry........
however, i wanted to say the following things to you (i`ll probably call again tomorrow):
(1) i heard you bought a car, good for you.
(2) i wanted to see how you are doing, write us back

Oran took me to photograph him yesterday and we made him a book so he could send his pictures to all the lovely girls on the net.

as for me:

Nothing new, all same same. i`ll write after this week and tell you how i am.

Please note: this sunday is my last test and Oran and I decided that we are going to get pissed drunk to celebrate!, please join us this monday at the Satchmo 22:00 so we can get ourselves a 3 Liters beer mug and have fun.

Next week I'm in germany (15th and 16th) so if anyone is in the area, contact me

as for action items:

Ofra - Could you please send me Kaktus's Email address?
Amir - Give me your home phone and time difference
Mailen - the flight date so we can all have a party

Love, hugs and Kisses:

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 09:10 AM | Comments (0)

June 29, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Well,

we shall begin with our holy mantra -
MICROSOFT IS EVIL
and amir should say : microsoft is avil

News:
(1) Amir had opened his site at http://www.ilhost.com/ and is willing to give everyone a free @ilhost.com, the site has chats, forums and etc.... (i get 0.25$ per click.....)
(2) Ayelet - let us know when are you working so we can come for freebies (not sex.... drinks - better)
(3) Schwartz had finally joined Saar (you all owe me 20 nis)
(4) i`ll do it in english and read it up side down "x.l j. u..d" (in Hebrew - i have no life)

What has been going on with me -
I started my semester exams and it seems that every thing goes well, i just need a change.... maybe i`ll do something with my life.
i realized that you can't eat the cake and leave it as a whole so i began eating it, i`ll bake another l8r....
i can't really say that i have something interesting currently, that's also why i didn't write in a while, but i've started to have these thoughts,
all of us should walk up and change the world - Yoav told me about a song that "the the" wrote that goes something like "if you can't change the world change yourself" and in the end it goes "if you can't change yourself change the world", the latter part regards me, all i ask is that you all help me,
this tuesday I'm producing (with the help of amir) a (small) festival for the end of the school year in the morasha center I'm volunteering at, and i wanted most of you (at least the people that are in israel to attend) and the other can get pictures. it's really important to me, since i believe that if we put a little bit of ourselves in these kids we can get them to be better, and thus make the world a better place, I've already started, i need your help. if we each helped, and not with money but with our hard work for an hour a week we can all make this happen, you know, most of us would not start a functional and 'healthy' family, and most like won't get married so all we need is to start helping, put a little of yourself there.
that's my good deed of the week, now for real other stuff, well i guess most of you stopped reading around here,

amir is flying this saturday (one week from today) and he wants to eat at "stephan brown" - bad person, killed animals for furs.... arbitrarily, lets date it at friday, 20:00 - and arbitrarily i can be the contact.

well, i bored you all enough,
have a good one,

--
Jonathan J. Klinger
TDEK Consulting Associates
Tel : +972-3-5408161
Fax : +972-3-5405697
Cell : +972-53-436436
Email: [email protected]

Do you think .NET stands for New Evil Technology?

Posted by jk at 10:48 AM | Comments (0)

May 27, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter

Hi all again,

Well, i see no one was able to help me in writing the newsletter, so
i`ll do it myself.

This week was hectic, I woke up this sunday and had a long day until
friday morning. _BUT_ i have good news.

MY LIFE GOT BETTER - when i found out the following things
(1) The whole family thing is a conspiracy, there is no actual reason
for living in couples, it's all a conspiracy since noah's arc, do you
think that it really was like that? well you don't really have to be in couples to be complete. think about it, the right family model is not really in couples, there could be quadruples and quintuplets and what ever, and it doesn't really have to be a man and a woman. think about it, please do. this got me thinking and i found out that i don't really need a life mate to be happy.
(2) Microsoft is actually taking over _YOUR_ life (to all the hotmail
subscribers) think about it, if Windows NT stood for new Technology, .NET stands for New EVIL (or as amir says EVILLE) Technology, think about it - they can read your mind, they know your friends and your deepest feelings. leave microsoft.
(3) Student Day - We have our proud student day this thursday, everyone that's in israel is invited to come, it will be fun.
(4) Amir is leaving us soon to the land down under - everyone pitch in some dough so we can buy something
(5) Next week I'm going to lovely italy (on the taxpayer's money) i
don't know how, but never mind. if you need something - (Meir - Pasta
for your girl please notify me
(6) What went on last week - actually nothing. but

Love you all,
Bye,
Jon

Posted by jk at 04:25 AM | Comments (0)

May 22, 2002

Gan Shula Newsletter (the first)

Well Guys, I Decided To write a newsletter to everyone, wherever they
may be. i`d appreciate it if you'd help me in the graphic design etc. etc.

Well, I was on a trip to the Golan Heights with Amir, Shaya, Itai and
Maya [Not my ex, whether the 16 year old] - Shani Joined later.

We sat in a secluded place with no one around for miles and miles. later people came by and left [it seems that many people know this place, however they all remember it as `no man's land' and left as soon as they saw us. a few people stayed but really far from us, in the first morning we went trekking up the river's stream and had real fun, if felt like old times when we had nothing to worry about.
on friday night, after a day and a half, Shani called me and said that she's in Shantipi and has no way to come and asked me to come and pick her up. well i drove from our camp on the Jordan River (near
the Yehudia) to Ganei Huga (near Beit Shean) to pick her up, fucking 60 km each way. well, a 16 year old girl doesn't comprehend the fact that both of these places are up north but are distant like Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. so never mind, an hour and a half later we were back in camp.

let's move to administration and management:
1. to start a newsletter i need each of you to write a paragraph with a summary of something that happened to you in the last fortnight [two week]
2. images or something [small in size - 10k Each]
3. graphic design etc.
4. news and upcoming events.
5. tell me if i forgot someone's mail

And Now - I wish all of you to leave microsoft's demonic service called Hotmail, in order to do that i offer you all addresses at @tdek.org, or open an account at @yahoo.com or something - hotmail is evil. please please please, i already compromised and didn't eat you even that most of you follow that 'I'm stronger than cows i can eat them rule' and others, microsoft is collecting important information regarding you in order to use it when they start their world domination. DEATH TO .NET! DEATH TO MSN, HOTMAIL and others, long live the free code and the free spirit of the human race.

Upcoming Events:
30/5 - Yom Hastudent in my college. Berry Shakarof, Hemi Rudner and
Muki D. beer and stuff.

See you,
Jonathan J. Klinger

- Written Proudly in Netscape Mail -

Posted by jk at 09:41 PM | Comments (0)

May 11, 2002

Letter to all my Long & Lost friends

Well,
It's been a hell of a week in school and etc., however i survived.....
last friday we had a pool party at my grandparents, well, they were in london and we were there, i don't know where i would choose if i had the option. Ayelet took pictures, i`ll send you some later. oran is kind of dating someone on a non-comitting, sex only relationship. and me, as usual, nothing new and/or interesting. it's friday night and nobody wants to go out. tomorrow I'm going on a jeep trip to the golan heights, and then back to school.
In the end i can't go to berlin and amsterdam, i have to stay and study here, we have summer courses to take now so i would be free on my last year.... never mind. Student day is coming and that's my only hope to get something interesting with my sex life. i don't know what my fucking problem is. i decided after you hot fan mail (especially Schwartz and Liran) to ignore her and put her on my ignore list on my cellular.

Action items:
(1) Schwartz - you gave me your phone #, is it a cellular? if so can you read SMS??; as you see, when you get here i`ll be in school, never mind, there's always next year. or maybe you can come with me later to amsterdam
(2) Liran - when will you be in NY? i need to contact Mark
(3) Saar - don't feel bad, i enclose a english-english dictionary - i call it MiniMe....... there's always something when you get back
(4) Yoav - well, Godspeed, Vya Con Dios.
(5) Liran - i might live in an eutopic world but everyone is okay, hope to see you all.

My Summer Semester ends on September 20th (after the tests) and i have until October 10th, so maybe, maybe i'll get to amsterdam. the promised land. Robbie is kind of down, he broke up with his girl and now alls bad. and Karen broke up with Noa as well (it was a long time ago, but I'm not sure any of you knew that) (actually yoav and saar were still here when it happened, I'm stupid).
I'm at home by the computer listening to porcupine tree, i`ll be putting on a film in a while and go to bed.

'Alone but not lonely, you and me' - The Asphalt World, Suede (1994)
Best wishes and Godspeed
Juan Jose Klinjer

Posted by jk at 10:49 AM | Comments (0)

May 02, 2002

One for me and one for my homies

This goes out to all of my homies abroad, i figured out that since you have little time and write a collective one every once-in-a-while, i can do that too. thou shan't be worried; i`ll write a personal one as well....

Hi -
I'm sorry that i had no time to write, you see, i have a terrible time in school; it's my midterms and in one week i had to face 3 tests. Yesterday was `Lag-Ba-Omer' and we had a fire like the old times. we got two girls to kiss Oran, it was a challenge in a long and enduring 'I never' game, and although they were sixteen i think it's the first time in a while that he felt the scent of a woman, amir took pictures so we can all have fun...... besides that, it felt like home again, it was nice hearing from schwartz yesterday (10x 10x 10x) - i know he's the only one of you able to call, since he's near a civilization.
well - the important part, regarding me.......
this goes to you, please don't forward it to the people in israel, most of them don't know. i can be more open with you regarding this since i don't have to face you guys every day.....

last week i received a SMS from my myth (apparently) ex, ****....
it said "I'm sorry for what I've ever done to you....blah blah blah blah" and i just didn't get why she wrote that, i replied in order to see what she wanted and the conversation went in directions i did not like... it got to a point she asked me what should she do to make me forgive her, so i decided i need to be a better person, the mature one.
i told her all she needed to do is to volunteer in the youth center i volunteer (not on my days) in order get more in touch with the community and become a better person. i gave her phone to Naomi (the person running this center) and she called her.
last sunday she came to the center, Naomi (who knows ***** also because i introduced them while we were going out) told me yesterday that they are so the same (like you all said - except liran, anyway, who said that ***** is much cuter) and said that she'll be coming now once a week and help with the kids. now to my problem - - -
I don't feel forgiveful, i don't want to.
but the real thing that's haunting me is that i know that she's not doing it with bone fide (good faith) and i know that I'm not doing it with bone fide, i did this so i could be the one who has the cards in his hands now, the one who could tell her what to do,
for the first time in a long time (and possibly in my adult life) i did something I'm not quite proud of.

back to business -
Meir came back from the army after a month or so, amir is unemployed, oran is still a virgin.
Coch went to south america, if anyone knows his mail (and also yoav) send it to me.

and moving on to the personal stuff:

1. we all mourn for Lane Stanley, hoping that music will thrive anyway and hoping we can all keep memory of him and his music alive.
2. Zabar, Robbie and I are going to Amsterdam around mid august, with a short visit to berlin. if anyone of you is planning his return around these dates, i`d appreciate if you could go through amsterdam so we could meet there and chill out for a couple of days.
3. don't forget - ICQLite.

Best wishes,
Jon

Missing you all.

Posted by jk at 08:04 AM | Comments (0)