49 Hours, Thirty five minutes
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\nUntil the clock stops ticking for me; It will not be the same me, Not just the years, but more. I still remember how i was ten years ago, and how nothing changed in this world. Still alone, still lonely. Back then i was with Noa; we were exactly 5 months on the day of my birthday, and we celebrated in some strange way. I don't think we went out or something; it was just something simple. Sitting with friends, It was a Friday. As i checked now. And if i hadn't burnt my journal from those days, i could have told you exactly what i did. Pay attention to what you do, since one of these days everything you wrote will disappear. So i'm sitting with a glass of vodka (double shot, on the rocks) in my hand and thinking about what has changed. well? Rabin died. <\/p>\n
I Remember my 17th birthday, it was different in all so many ways. It was one of the first massive parties i ever held, felt quite popular for the first time in my life. too many people i did not know. too many people that i could have been with. My 17th birthday was strange. A couple of weeks before it i met K\/S (initials reserved) and we were together for a short while. That time was also towards the end of Oren and Anat's relationship; right after Rabin was assassinated. Too many people came to my birthday party, most of them were complete strangers back then. it was also the day i met Feiginson.<\/p>\n
My 18th birthday was split in two: on one hand, we took a jeep trip with some friends, and Feig filled my car with mud, besides that it was fun. on the other hand, we sat (as a group) in the Viduy at night, and it was fun. nothing special, no person which i couldn't live without. I felt appreciated.<\/p>\n
My 19th Birthday? well, I was already in the army, and my mother was 9 months pregnant, I was with Liron. Don't think i did anything special. I do remember the new years eve of 1998. but my birthday? had i remained uncelebrated? can't recall, and that is a bad thing.<\/p>\n
On my 20th Birthday i met Maya; well, actually, we met and fell in love on the same day. It was a big party i held at my parents house, something real grand. I think i drank like i never drank before, but i was not intoxicifyed. I still remember the cops coming at 4am to stop the noise, and banging on the toilet door, when we had to get out. then came a wonderful relationship.<\/p>\n
My 21st Birthday was "uncelebrated" as it was people going out to the "Kochav". i did quite a lot of poppers. Maya took me first for a wonderful restaurant in a taxi (was meant to be a limo, but something was messed up) and then we got back to her place, and went out. I think that we even got back home early for some reason.<\/p>\n
My 22nd Birthday was right after we moved to the apartment in hertzelia; and it was the exam period, so we went to the Satchmo, which i was acquainted to only a few weeks before. I drank a frozen margarita, got back home. there were only a few people there, but only people i loved.<\/p>\n
For my 23rd birthday i decided to hold a big party. and so it was, bartender and dj; a real set, lots of people were there, real fun. around 5 o'clock everyone went home, i thanked god, cleaned my parents house up and got home. Then Anna came, and then we came together; she had her period, and we went to her house, showered and made out. the week after was terrible, we met again but I left in the middle, it's one of the worst things i ever done to a person, walking in the middle. i just couldn't do it. it didn't feel right.<\/p>\n
My 24th Birthday was celebrated in my apartment, with some friends. we played music, drank and had lots of fun. nothing grandiose, but only with people i love. It was actually one of the best.<\/p>\n
My 25th Birthday was a "great success" no one remembers what happened. I do have photos showing that everyone had fun, though. and i do remember the beginning, when we played music, but then the alcohol came. I don't remember _anything_ but i do remember the reactions. I even liked some of them.<\/p>\n
So, 49 more hours. a decade in retrospect. what should i say? nothing can make me feel young again. Maybe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
49 Hours, Thirty five minutes —————————– Until the clock stops ticking for me; It will not be the same me, Not just the years, but more. I still remember how i was ten years ago, and how nothing changed in this world. Still alone, still lonely. Back then i was with Noa; we were exactly…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gan-shula-newsletters"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t