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December 17, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

So Should I Shut Up?
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i Knock on Wood
ii The Plot Thickens
iii No Business like Show Business
iv Felony, you say?
v Where I Come from we don't do that sort of thing
vi Personal Hi Jeans
vii Farewell
viii Aftermath

Knock on Wood
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Well, the last time i wrote you guys i was sitting in an airport in Geneva, getting back from the whole Geneva Accord thingie; and i thought that everything will be just fine. they called my name and i shut the computer down and went on the plane. however, i was to blind to see all the fog the surrounded the plane, that prevented it from taking off for an Hour. the time was 0730, my flight from Zurich to Tel-Aviv was leaving at 0955, i believed that there was time, to be certain i asked the flight attendant (Flying Waitress) whether we will be leaving soon, and she answered positively.

The Plot Thickens
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At 0855, just a few minutes before the boarding started at Zurich, our plane decided to take off. I, Foolishly, believed that it's a 30 Minute flight and that we will make it, having my luggage flown over the next day or something.... at 0910 we were already above Zurich, however, we did not have a time slot to land, so we waited 30 more minutes above the airport. I Believed that i will make it. i can do it! we landed at 0951 and i ran as fast as i can, ignoring all security to make it to my flight. The flight left without me and my luggage. I went to the Counter as fast as i can and told them that i had to give a lecture in my School at 1900 that day, and if i won't make it i won't get my degree (which was half true, i only needed to give a lecture) so after blaming the swiss for the holocaust and the vanishing of the entire jewish state, i got a plane ticket for the 1245 ElAl flight to Tel Aviv, that will be there at 1745.

No Business like Show Business
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Got to the ElAl Counter and went through all the stupid security issues, and then queried them regarding two things; First of all, the current location of my luggage, and the estimated time to get compensation from the airline regarding the loss of my beloved Suits, Coat and Presents. Two, the current situation with my Veggie Meal, and the reason for me being famished throughout the flight. both of them were solved. My luggage was lost, and then found just 10 seconds prior to my boarding, which was still in time to get back with me, and my veggie meal was forsaken, and is replaced by a cheap bottle of scotch. I got on the plane and received the 'Best Service' the Israeli national mover has to offer; of course, it wasn't their fault, they were nice, just used to the stereotypical israeli, that isn't as polite as i am.

Felony, you say?
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Landed in Israel and called everyone to assure them that i am coming to the lecture, the time was 1745 and i was headed to the Passport Control. Hadas had just told me that the Airport workers in Custom are striking, and in protest they will check everyone coming in on the green line. I Went to the Biometric sensors, which of course, did not work for me, forcing me to stand in line with the 'normal' people. after passing this obstacle, i had to go take my luggage. as i waited for my luggage, that reluctened to come, i spoke to my Father, giving me a smart idea. Then it happened, i took both bottles of Scotch from my bag and went through the RED line, telling them - 'Hello, I Would like to pay customs for these', and giving them a small shock, 5 Minutes and 98 Nis Later, i was out, looking at the Non-Moving line that stood still for around three hours.

Where I Come from we don't do that sort of thing
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It was 1810, and i got to the Parking Lot, after several minutes of waiting for the Bus, that looked like hours. paid for my parking and got out. I drove as fast as i could to School, and eventually got there 5 Minutes prior to class, only to find that Shlomit had betrayed me and sold my lecture out in favor of watching a Fellini movie. i was out voted in class, and sat down to watch the movie. my conclusion - Don't work too hard for other people.

Personal Hi Jeans
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Well, another interesting thing i did that week was my trip to Kalkilya, but in short - one paragraph. Organized by the Peres Center, we went to listen and look at people living near the separation wall, both israeli and palestinian. met some very nice people, from both sides. the only really interesting thing was this - Well, i woke up very early that day, after a short sleep, so i was in terrible need for my Caffine, but there was none. when we got to the City Hall at Ja'ayus i asked one of the locals whether there's a kitchen where i can make myself a cup of coffee. having him being such a nice person, he decided to take me there and to boil water in order to make traditional Arabic coffee. what both of us forgot was that this is a Palestinian village and that my tour guide and fellow friends are not aware of my absence. 5 short minutes (i guess that for them the minutes seemed forever) i got a call to my cellphone, querying whether i am still alive, i answered that i am making coffee, and that's it, i'll be back in a jiff. Conclusion - Coffee makes people feel closer, drink it often.

Farewell
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This is where i am supposed to leave you for this week, but guess what, there's more. next week i will be departing on an israeli tour, so let me know where are you people and where can i meet you. especially the following people: Ron, Yoav, Carmi, Lem.

Aftermath
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(1) This friday we will be holding a candle lighting at our house for friends. feel invited to come. call me for more details
(2) Don't look Back in anger
(3) We're moving out in a month so if anyone's interested in our apartment let us know.
(4) Don't drink and drive

Regards
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Jonathan J. Klinger

נכתב על ידי jk ביום\שעה December 17, 2003 07:41 PM