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March 20, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

The Gan Shula Newsletter staff wish to apologize to whom they may offend in this email, and endorse you to opt-out at: [email protected]

I had noticed that you people don't read my mail, so i decided to make a contest (with prizes), at the end of the letter there will be some questions. answer them correctly and get in the raffle.

War, No War?
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What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. the united states had waged war on Iraq, without the consent of any other country. that's only the beginning. so i decided to write about the good stuff that might rise from this war.

First Of All
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My theory is (and unfortunately is not widely adopted) that France and Germany would not be able to withstand the United States' violence and constant minding in other countries' sovereignty and independence. they will have to act and wage war on the united states, meaning - WWIII. and as Amir always says, i don't know what weapons will be used in WWIII, but WWiX will have to be fought with sticks and stones.

Secondly,
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When war would be waged against the US, dollar rates will go lower, making my rent funny (when 310$ will become 200Nis???) meaning that i can start living the good life!

Last of all,
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American people will finally have to deal with their problems and come back to their original countries, leaving the United States to the indians.... (hint hint - Guy Schwartz)

Enough War4a Day
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I shall continue with my attempt to bore you. I got another job as a research assistant to one of the doctors in my college (not a physical doctor - MD, but a doctor of legal philosophy), actually most of the job is printing for him, but i get to write really important papers and stuff about legal theories of marriage (they are bad!!!) and theological aspects of the law.

BoomBaMela
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Is coming up people, 17th of April. i want a list of who's coming and with who so we can arrange a big time orgy. well, not really..... we just want to buy all the stuff together so we can save money, and see what equipment do we have (BTW: Daphna, 10x4the tent). there are some good news regarding the participants, but I'm not sure i am at liberty to say, so in the meantime mind you that we shall be accompanied by various GOOD people.

SexLife and The City
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I knew it would catch your eye, but actually there aren't any. so i`ll just have to spend another (year) by myself. people, it's okay that all of you are getting married and stuff, just don't forget me, i can be the last one who can arrange a bachelor party. (BTW: I will be a Bachelor of Law in a year).

Asynchronic Digital Subscriber Line
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Or shortly aDSL, is a signaling method used to download major amounts of pornography, music and video. we have obtained such line in order to do so, and have enlarged (our penis) our video collection and MP3 collection, so all of you can Njoy.

Requests:
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(1) Schwartz - i sent you a URL yesterday, they offer free flights to israel, i really think that in these troubled times you should be here
(2)Amir - I need a paragraph explaining what you need to do, actually a CV of a paragraph, something like: Amir Amit, BSc, is a prominent computer engineer who has more than 15 years of experience with complex computing systems and had written a part of the LiNUx kernel, amir likes to have sex with little girls and to practice ninjistu.
(3) Oran - Find out about good parties for next week, i might (and you can print this) come with you if there is a good one.
(4) Keren - BUY A COMPUTER

Well, here we go, the questions:
(1) What does aDSL stand for?
(2) Who did the US wage war on?
(3) Who do i want to wage war on the US?
(4) What did i do to get your attention?

Love, Hate and all the other feelings that make you think of me.....
--
Jonathan J. Klinger

נכתב על ידי jk ביום\שעה March 20, 2003 07:39 AM