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July 14, 2003

Gan Shula Newsletter

Ingredients:
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(1) London - Getting There
(2) London - Having Fun
(3) London - Drug Dealing
(4) London - The Line Ride
(5) London - Travel In General
(6) Life - Living up to standards
(7) Seminary Work
(8) Music
(9) Narcotix
(10) Sex And Sovereignty
(11) Trip

London - Getting There
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Woke up last sunday morning and i decided that i have to go to London (actually, i had booked ticket a week before, after knowing that i am in need of vacation); so i took my kid brother there and rented a hotel room (Holiday Inn **** - very recommended). The flight left at 15:45, and was terrible, do not, and i repeat, do not fly Arkia even if your life depends on it, T H E Y C H A R G E F O R A L C O H O L ! ! !.
After a non intoxicating flight, i understood that flying is not fun if it is made sober, so we walked to the train station and from the train station to the hotel, i put tal to bed and took a short walk to the nearest pub.

London - Having Fun
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It was a rather standard English pub, the time was half past ten at night, and it was in the process of making the customers go so they could close, i went to the cigarette vending machine, in hope to pay a pound or two for a pack of 20, however, i found myself paying 4.60 for 16 cigs, apparently they sell them in a 16 pack (is that a dozen and a third?) in vending machines to make more profit. that was the only piece of smokes i bought in this whole trip (besides the Cuban for Talmish)
However, after passing 6 nights in different pubs, which in all of them i drank Guinness and only Guinness, i started to see things a little clearer. (one might say the opposite, but it does comply)

London - Drug Dealing
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Well, i'll skip forward all the walks i made and all the fine music i listened to in order to tell you a bit about the party i was in on friday. the place was called "Fabric" (www.fabriclondon.com) and it's a 3 story club, in two there was RnB, but the third was DrumN'Bass, and the best kind of, so i went down to the basement floor. it was real big (and empty when i came there) so i sat in one of the corners and drank my Red Bull (4th for the day); after i finished my drink i went to the Johns in order to do my needs. on the way to the Johns i encountered a big Afro-English (or how do you say it PCed?) who asked me in a nice manner (and i do mean nice, I'm not kidding) whether i have any pills. i gently said i don't (after looking in my pockets, i could have made a whole lot of money that way) and after realizing i don't know how do the pills look like or even how much to charge for one, i moved on. afterward, every minute or so someone else came to me and asked me. the thing i noticed, however, is that I'm not the only one who is approached that way but I'm the only one who isn't making any money out of it, at last, my plan was complete, next time I'm there, i`ll sell Advils for 50 pounds a piece.

London - The Line Ride
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I reckon it was friday morning, but I'm not sure, when my brother wanted to see "British Airways' London Eye", so it was. we took the tube to Waterloo station and walked a few meters, then came to a complete stop, i was astound by the people there standing in line, it was like the "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls" episode in South Park (Season II). there was a line to buy ticket, which after you bought you had so stand in a different line, to get the ticket checked, and after the ticket was checked you had to stand in a line for the ride, which led to another line, to get on the ride itself, all and all i stood in line 1.5 hours for a 27 minute ride. i think that for 10 pounds, the whole line experience is ok....

London - Travel In General
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After a week without a car, i came to some conclusions regarding mass transportation, the first and most important is that if mass transportation is to be executed in israel, there must be a compulsory hygiene class in school, teaching people to use deodorant. the only good thing about the tube is that it's cheap, fast and is full of hot english chicks, if it was with drinks, you could have called it a club, easily.

Life - Living up to standards
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Well, that's the living up to standards, to sum up london, it was fun, i didn't meet any interesting people or had life defying experiences, but it was fun, strict fun, a week without any email is good. i rested, and got to know my kid brother, which i never had time for, since when he grew up i was a teenager and only wanted to play my guitar (very different from now, when I'm an adult and all i want to do is play my guitar).

Seminary Work
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The good thing is i got to finish my seminary work, all f**king 30 pages of it. i read like 3000 pages, but it is at last complete and i can submit it and finally be eligible for my degree. i know that I'm finishing it in a year or so, but i need to submit this ASAP for a grade in research assignments.

Music
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Took my kid brother to a concert (not really big) of a jazz band, inside a coffee shop, it was so nice, to bad he got sick of the music and wanted to go after an hour. the only thing i learned from the show is not to drink ginger beer, it's not tasty.

Narcotix
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You ask how my narcotic seminar worked out? well, i think it was okay, not that bad, but it needs to be re-furbished, so if any one of you is interested in coming with us for a trip up north (or down south) for 2 days and one night, please let me know, sleeping bags and tents recommended. musical instruments are allowed and welcome.

Sex And Sovereignty
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Fact: (not really interesting, but yet, a fact) Jonathan Klinger had yet to experience sex outside the boundaries of Israel, meaning that I'm an offshore virgin or something, meaning that if i do not get any the next time i am abroad i shall be really depressed, BTW: any one of the Gals is "coming" with me the next time I'm flying? :-?

Trip
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As this is the last segment for this one, i want to thank every one that got until this part and read the whole way through. you will be rewarded in the afterlife. the following messages need to be spread:
(1) A stupid person had erased all of the memory and pictures on my phone, so if all of you that haven't spoken to me this week could send me their # (and possibly pics). don't feel bad if i don't call you, it's just that i don't have your number.
(2) Anyone interested in making a big money and has an idea, please let me know, i want in.
(3) if anyone knows how to print counterfeit money, do let me know as well.
(4) If you don't read these mail and just delete them, let me know so i will erase you from the list, it really is just because i don't have time to talk to everyone in the world.

Love you all, Please do not have anal sex, as it causes anal infirmity.
--
Jonathan J. Klinger

נכתב על ידי jk ביום\שעה July 14, 2003 01:30 AM